A group of criminals see their escape from prison when an infamous prison breaker arrive. The problem however : he doesn’t want to escape anymore.
Categories: Student Loglines
8 reviews
I would give the lead character?an understandable reason to be desperate to escape from prison. Something that will make the audience like him and hope he succeeds. How about this:
-----
"When an infamous prisoner (Known for breaking out of any prison) is transferred to his cell block; a convict desperate to see his dying wife sees his chance to escape, but problems arise when he discovers the notorious criminal no longer desires escape."
'
When?the most infamous prison escape artist?in America?arrives at? Denver Supermax,?a young group of lifers must convince him?to?break them out but he's?perfectly?content being the prison celebrity
I read this and thought "hangover" in prison. ?Just tidy up the English.
Does there have to be a main character? ?Yes and no. ?But this is selling the story not telling the story.
You could start withe the desire (goal) and the obstacle.
Three prison see a chance to escape when the greatest escapee of all time is sent to their prison. ?They have to convince him to escape when all he wants to do is serve his time.
Hi, I agree with lots of the points already made - making it about one person, and sticking a bit closer to the formula. ?A problem is that 'the event' is the arrival of a person - so it makes the logline clunky to avoid confusing pronouns. ?This isn't quite right but I feel might be a move in the right direction:
When an infamous escapologist is transferred to his cell block; a desperate prisoner must convince the escapologist to help him escape or never see his dying wife again.
a question I have: what sets this apart from other prison break movies? is it simply the reluctance of the expert escapologist? or is there something else that could also go in the logline? can you give the prison break plot a unique spin ?
good luck!
Taking the logline literally, it implies that the plot is about them trying to persuade escape artist to join in and help them escape. Now, I can see this working for a comedy sketch or a short or a sequence in a larger story -- but the length of an ?entire movie about them ?pleading with the escape artist?
And even if he doesn't want to escape, couldn't he still advise them, mentor them?
That he doesn't want to try to escape anymore is a good complication as a part of a plot, but I don't see it as the plot. ? What is the story really about? The dramatic question seems to be: ?what do they do when they can't convince him to help them? ?Isn't the answer, obviously, ?they go ahead and plan their own escape?
Taking the logline literally, it implies that the plot is about them trying to persuade escape artist to join in and help them escape. Now, I can see this working for a comedy sketch or a short or a sequence in a larger story -- but the length of an ?entire movie about them ?pleading with the escape artist?
And even if he doesn't want to escape, couldn't he still advise them, mentor them?
That he doesn't want to try to escape anymore is a good complication as a part of a plot, but I don't see it as the plot. ? What is the story really about? The dramatic question seems to be: ?what do they do when they can't convince him to help them? ?Isn't the answer, obviously, ?they go ahead and plan their own escape?