Karel Segers

No loglines yet.

• on one of the twin police duo is not in his right mind but he is very smart also no one knows what macabre plans this one has in mind implicates him in wanting to commit a murder in fact there are investigations but he camouflages himself in his own work which leads him to not be discovered in the future from there they will be involved in other matters including the stalking of his brother’s daughter, his twin..

  This reads like a stream-of-consciousness run-on sentence. I have read it twice and still don't have a clue what it is about. May I suggest you read the training materials on this site? This is not a story concept as…

• on A family member is involved in an accident, but it is covered up. A few years later, the man who now runs an escort club is again involved in a mysterious incident.

  May I suggest you read the training materials on this site? This is not a story concept as it merely lists two events. Read the sections labeled "Formula" and "Examples", then read some example loglines here on the site and…

• on After the death of their father 4 children must face their abusive mother and expose her lies and abuse if they want to have a chance at a happy life.

  On the surface, the logline follows a clear structure, which makes it fairly easy to read. You may find a way to avoid the repetition of abusive/abuse, and add a comma after 'father'. Because of the "and ... and", I…

• on When an interdimensional rupture unravels reality, an unlikely hero must channel her newfound powers to fight bizarre and bewildering dangers from the multiverse as the fate of the world hangs in the balance.

  I think getting the IRS off her back is certainly one of the more mundane goals in this film. In cinematic terms, I guess this means to defeat Jamie Lee Curtis.

• on In the near future, a young genius escapes a moonbase where a madman secretly enslaves scientists in his plan to wipe out life on Earth but when no one believes him, he alone must find a way to destroy the base and free the other scientists.

  It's a cool, dramatic premise. I don't get a feel for the character yet, though. "Young genius" is not enough to promise an engaging character for me. What personal challenges does the character face? Also, the survival of mankind is…

• on While waiting for the results of some tests, Marc, a young man with cancer, meets Oscar. The two young men end up having an exciting romantic relationship. After discharge the boys decide to take a trip around the world. But your secrets will come out.

  The logline is not presented in the format that is recommended on this site. Please have a look at the tutorials under "START HERE" and "Formula". Leaving our recommended format aside, this is still not an industry standard logline. You'll…

• on A priest kidnaps an atheist writer and tortures him until he believes in God or one of them dies in the process.

  Not sure if I'd want to watch this, but it reminds me of a scene in Severance, where one character is mentally tortured until she says something in a way that sounds like she believes it. This reads like a…

• on A music teacher has a fatal accident, just as he was to achieve his dream of playing jazz professionally, and lands in the ‘Great Before’, from where he desperately tries to find his way back to his body.

  I disagree about the comma comment. As long as they're used grammatically correctly, they SHOULD improve the sentence's readability. Here's another take on this logline: "When a jazz musician on the brink of a career breakthrough lands in the 'Great…

• on A career driven wife unwittingly convinces her husband to join her in a tiny trailer cross country adventure, with the secret hopes of avoiding her disastrous financial missteps and saving their delicate marriage.

  First of all, get rid of some adjectives: unwittingly, secret, disastrous, delicate... This is just too much. Some don't make sense, either. Next, it seems like the story's main action is 'convincing'. Or is the story what happens AFTER this?…

• on When a stoner hospital worker is blamed for delivering a meal to the wrong patient—killing him; she must prove that it was not her mistake.

  In this type of story, typically there is a secondary goal of bringing the real culprit to justice. Because it's a movie, an accident is not really interesting. There may have been a plot behind the killing of this particular…

• Samurai