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“When she discovers she’s the ‘chosen one’ a prissy high school cheerleader must use her newfound powers stop a vampire master from totally ruining her prom.”
--Buffy the Vampire Slayer-- (The Movie)
–Buffy the Vampire Slayer– (The Movie)
See less“When he discovers the wild animals he’s hired to kill are actually outback Aborigines, an old west sharpshooter uses his rifle skills to take down the greedy landowner and protect the very people he was hired to kill.”
An American cowboy hired to kill `'wild animals`' in the Outback instead uses his sharpshooting skills against his Australian employer when he discovers his job is to kill Aborigines. (29 words) Awkward.? My principal concern is that the original version? buries the identity of the protagonist in thRead more
An American cowboy hired to kill `’wild animals`’ in the Outback instead uses his sharpshooting skills against his Australian employer when he discovers his job is to kill Aborigines.
(29 words)
Awkward.? My principal concern is that the original version? buries the identity of the protagonist in the logline.? He’s not identified until almost 1/2 way through .? So if I were to stay with the original version, I would lead off with “When an American cowboy — clearly identifying the protagonist by the 4th word instead of the 18th.
fwiw
See lessWhen her older husband dies of viagra overdose, leaving her cuffed on the bed frame, a sexually frustrated woman must break free or die alone in their isolated lake house.
I saw this movie and enjoyed it.? I don't think "old", "sexually frustrated" and "die alone" are needed.? ?The reference to Viagra infers old or older.? ?Sexual frustration isn't necessary as being tied to the bed implies they are trying to be sexually active, and die alone is implied mentioning theRead more
I saw this movie and enjoyed it.? I don’t think “old”, “sexually frustrated” and “die alone” are needed.? ?The reference to Viagra infers old or older.? ?Sexual frustration isn’t necessary as being tied to the bed implies they are trying to be sexually active, and die alone is implied mentioning the isolated lake house.
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