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  1. Posted: October 31, 2019In: Comedy

    When an 8ft hairy black monster begins following him around and disrupting his life, a lonely divorcee must find a way to get rid of it before it controls his entire existence.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on November 2, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    What are the stakes? I only ask because I am not sure what you mean by, "Controls his entire existence" Does this mean the monster is going to mind control the lead character and take over his body? In other words, what will the lead character lose if he does not get rid of the monster? However, besRead more

    What are the stakes? I only ask because I am not sure what you mean by, “Controls his entire existence” Does this mean the monster is going to mind control the lead character and take over his body?

    In other words, what will the lead character lose if he does not get rid of the monster?

    However, besides that, I think this logline is pretty close and has a great hook.

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  2. Posted: November 1, 2019In: Comedy

    When a new film contest starts a group of egocentric childhood friends set out to make a movie, despite the fact that they know nothing about film making. But when the opportunity presents itself they are wiling to do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on November 2, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    Agreed with the above. In general, loglines are better when they focus on the plot. In this case, you seemed to describe the premise and setup instead of the major story beats.  

    Agreed with the above.

    In general, loglines are better when they focus on the plot. In this case, you seemed to describe the premise and setup instead of the major story beats.

     

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  3. Posted: October 28, 2019In: Comedy

    When Mads is released from prison, his greatest desire is to come out and be a father to his 10-year-old daughter, whom he has not seen for 3 years, but when he finds out she is deadly ill and the mother forbids him to see her , he dresses up like a hospital clown to have an opportunity to be something for his daughter before she dies.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 30, 2019 at 6:19 am

    So an ex-con can show up in cognito in a clown costume and not have to be vetted by a standard security background check before he can have regular access to amuse sick kids?And a story about parents feuding over a kid whose doomed to die is a comedy?

    So an ex-con can show up in cognito in a clown costume and not have to be vetted by a standard security background check before he can have regular access to amuse sick kids?

    And a story about parents feuding over a kid whose doomed to die is a comedy?

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