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  1. Posted: October 14, 2021In: Crime

    A failed private investigator becomes entangled in the disappearance of a 17-year-old girl to clear a large gambling debt.

    Best Answer
    NisVinten Logliner
    Added an answer on October 14, 2021 at 8:55 pm

    I like the story when I read your synopsis, but your logline needs polish. How about: When a failed investigator can't pay back his gambling debt he gets 1 week to find the missing daughter of a murderous creditor. It's not there yet, but raise the stakes. Have fun, Nis from Denmark

    I like the story when I read your synopsis, but your logline needs polish. How about:

    When a failed investigator can’t pay back his gambling debt he gets 1 week to find the missing daughter of a murderous creditor.

    It’s not there yet, but raise the stakes.

    Have fun,
    Nis from Denmark

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  2. Posted: October 8, 2021In: Crime

    After The murder of there friend, a group of inner-city teens vows revenge by killing every cop in California.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on October 8, 2021 at 2:02 pm

    What compels the reader to want the lead characters to succeed? I could see if the leads went after the specific police officer but to kill every cop in California, both men, and women, Black, Asian, White, young, old, even those who have dedicated their lives to helping others? At some point won'tRead more

    What compels the reader to want the lead characters to succeed?

    I could see if the leads went after the specific police officer but to kill every cop in California, both men, and women, Black, Asian, White, young, old, even those who have dedicated their lives to helping others?

    At some point won’t people tune out?

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  3. Posted: September 26, 2021In: Crime

    Interwined stories between an Russian immigrant, a brother and sister dealing with their abusive father, a drug dealer and a pimp in four tales of sex, drugs and murder in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn.

    Odie Samurai
    Added an answer on September 27, 2021 at 1:18 pm

    Missing the arc of these intertwined stories. Pulp Fiction: "The lives of two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangster’s wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption"

    Missing the arc of these intertwined stories.

    Pulp Fiction: “The lives of two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangster’s wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption”

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