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After The murder of there friend, a group of inner-city teens vows revenge by killing every cop in California.
What compels the reader to want the lead characters to succeed? I could see if the leads went after the specific police officer but to kill every cop in California, both men, and women, Black, Asian, White, young, old, even those who have dedicated their lives to helping others? At some point won'tRead more
What compels the reader to want the lead characters to succeed?
I could see if the leads went after the specific police officer but to kill every cop in California, both men, and women, Black, Asian, White, young, old, even those who have dedicated their lives to helping others?
At some point won’t people tune out?
See lessInterwined stories between an Russian immigrant, a brother and sister dealing with their abusive father, a drug dealer and a pimp in four tales of sex, drugs and murder in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn.
Missing the arc of these intertwined stories. Pulp Fiction: "The lives of two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangster’s wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption"
Missing the arc of these intertwined stories.
Pulp Fiction: “The lives of two mob hitmen, a boxer, a gangster’s wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption”
See lessFerocious identical twins Reggie and Ronnie Kray are at the top of London’s criminal underworld. Stopping at nothing to maintain their dominance, establishing themselves as two of the most feared and respected gangsters in London’s history.
Consider the following: 1. Dig the ferocious duo protags. 2. A worldbuilder may help as this is a period piece. 3. Do they start at the top, fall, then return? 4. As a reader, I know the goal, but not the Major Event – call to action. 5. From your synopsis the opposition is a rival gang or a detectiRead more
Consider the following:
1. Dig the ferocious duo protags.
2. A worldbuilder may help as this is a period piece.
3. Do they start at the top, fall, then return?
4. As a reader, I know the goal, but not the Major Event – call to action.
5. From your synopsis the opposition is a rival gang or a detective, this is not referenced in the logline.
6. Click the Formula link in the header for help.
Hope you find this constructive, take care.
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