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Title: The Getaway When a retired from crime convict is released from prison she must redeem herself to win back the trust of her daughter. But when her daughter ends up kidnapped by a criminal mastermind, she is put through multiple lethal corrupted jobs, to save her child before its too late, and risk going back to prison which she vowed to leave forever.
Hi Keeks, I agree with Mike - especially about it being easier to critique someone else's Logline than it is to write your own! LOL. Here are my thoughts: I like your title... The Getaway suggests both the MC getting away from crime and maybe the new job she is forced to perform - could she be the gRead more
Hi Keeks,
I agree with Mike – especially about it being easier to critique someone else’s Logline than it is to write your own! LOL. Here are my thoughts:
- I like your title… The Getaway suggests both the MC getting away from crime and maybe the new job she is forced to perform – could she be the getaway driver? (never seen a woman in this kind of role before).
- Things to strip out as redundant in my mind are “retired from crime” – ex-con… I don’t think you need to state she’s just been released from prison?, “she is put through multiple… etc” – blackmailed to perform one last job, “risking going back to prison” – delete.
- Maybe she is the best at what she did, and the criminal mastermind is an old boss/accomplice? Maybe their last job together landed her in jail? That could give them a connection and a reason for the mastermind (maybe another woman?) to kidnap her daughter as a means to blackmail her?
See lessWhen a devoted ex criminal desired to start a righteous past completes her prison term, she is dragged back into the criminal underworld after her son is kidnapped by her ex crime mob boss and forced to complete numerous tasks, before he ends up dead.
A reformed ex-convict is forced to xxxx when her old boss kidnaps her son. You don?t need to be too poetic. Add words that can have a direct impact on the visuals of the film. So a person can see what you are describing. Plus a reformed person desires all the things you talk about.
A reformed ex-convict is forced to xxxx when her old boss kidnaps her son.
You don?t need to be too poetic. Add words that can have a direct impact on the visuals of the film. So a person can see what you are describing.
Plus a reformed person desires all the things you talk about.
See lessAfter a teenage daughter of a imprisoned mob boss who is a student of his gets kidnapped, a teacher moonlights himself to support his family as a taxi driver decides to take the law on his own hands to get revenge on those who got into prostitution.
Sometimes it is good to let the reader know, why is it up to the lead to take action. Why don't the police do something or in the case of your story, why doesn't the mob boss send his goons out to get revenge.Here would be an attempt to explain why it is the teacher and not someone else that takes aRead more
Sometimes it is good to let the reader know, why is it up to the lead to take action. Why don’t the police do something or in the case of your story, why doesn’t the mob boss send his goons out to get revenge.
Here would be an attempt to explain why it is the teacher and not someone else that takes action.
“When his student prodigy is kidnapped by human traffickers, a Green Beret turned teacher vows to hunt down those responsible and save his student at any cost.”
See less