1. Posted: February 4, 2020In:

    When a devoted ex criminal desired to start a righteous past completes her prison term, she is dragged back into the criminal underworld after her son is kidnapped by her ex crime mob boss and forced to complete numerous tasks, before he ends up dead.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    A reformed ex-convict is forced to xxxx when her old boss kidnaps her son. You don?t need to be too poetic. Add words that can have a direct impact on the visuals of the film. So a person can see what you are describing. Plus a reformed person desires all the things you talk about.

    A reformed ex-convict is forced to xxxx when her old boss kidnaps her son.

    You don?t need to be too poetic. Add words that can have a direct impact on the visuals of the film. So a person can see what you are describing.

    Plus a reformed person desires all the things you talk about.

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  2. Posted: January 14, 2020In:

    After a teenage daughter of a imprisoned mob boss who is a student of his gets kidnapped, a teacher moonlights himself to support his family as a taxi driver decides to take the law on his own hands to get revenge on those who got into prostitution.

    Richiev Singularity

    Sometimes it is good to let the reader know, why is it up to the lead to take action. Why don't the police do something or in the case of your story, why doesn't the mob boss send his goons out to get revenge.Here would be an attempt to explain why it is the teacher and not someone else that takes aRead more

    Sometimes it is good to let the reader know, why is it up to the lead to take action. Why don’t the police do something or in the case of your story, why doesn’t the mob boss send his goons out to get revenge.

    Here would be an attempt to explain why it is the teacher and not someone else that takes action.

    “When his student prodigy is kidnapped by human traffickers, a Green Beret turned teacher vows to hunt down those responsible and save his student at any cost.”

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  3. Posted: December 25, 2019In:

    (2nd revision) In order to name his rebellious son as heir to a dynasty that sells raided memories, an aging patriarch must fake a memory of succession inside him, before he fulfills a vow to expose his business.

    Trix Samurai

    I struggled to understand exactly what I'd be watching... the following immediately popped into my head: Why would he want a 'rebellious son' to inherit? What are 'raided' memories? - Stolen? Memories of a specific type/for a specific purpose? Why would he plant a fake memory inside himself rather tRead more

    I struggled to understand exactly what I’d be watching… the following immediately popped into my head:

    • Why would he want a ‘rebellious son’ to inherit?
    • What are ‘raided’ memories? – Stolen? Memories of a specific type/for a specific purpose?
    • Why would he plant a fake memory inside himself rather than look for a way to avoid exposing his business? (Or is the son threatening to expose the father?)

    Overall, Im confused.

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