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  1. Posted: November 5, 2015In: Crime

    Unable to become a police officer because of a past felony conviction, a man finds his own way as a maverick bounty hunter to fight for the justice he never got. When he and his partner receive their next assignment, they go undercover in a town full of criminals and struggle to stay covert while in pursuit of their target.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 5, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    >>>Unable to become a police officer because of a past felony conviction, a man finds his own way as a maverick bounty hunter to fight for the justice he never got.All of that is either backstory which means it's (mostly) off screen.? But a logline is about what is shown on screen. ? Or, alRead more

    >>>Unable to become a police officer because of a past felony conviction, a man finds his own way as a maverick bounty hunter to fight for the justice he never got.

    All of that is either backstory which means it’s (mostly) off screen.? But a logline is about what is shown on screen. ? Or, alternatively, all of that is part of the setup which means it occurs in the first act.

    So the story — what the logline should focus on — seems to begin when he goes undercover in a town full of criminals.

    >> while in pursuit of their target

    Who, specifically, are they looking for?? And what are the stakes?? Is he going undercover for the “justice he never got” or for the reward money as a maverick bounty hunter?? And what is the “justice he never got” — what does that mean?

    A protagonist can certainly have an interesting past that motivates his present actions.? But there isn’t enough space in a logline to cram all that in and a logline is about the present, what the protagonist must do now, not what he may have done — or had done to him — in the past.

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  2. Posted: October 29, 2015In: Crime

    Trying to escape from his criminal past, a neurotic fixer must cover up his connection to a recently discovered stash of body parts, all while battling his own grisly hallucinations.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on November 1, 2015 at 4:56 am

    I like the main character, but I think there is a lack of logic: how can the fixer fail? is this his first mission maybe? or someone is setting him up? Is the fixer a perfectionist, so why does he fail? Is the fixer a clown, so why mafia hired him?

    I like the main character, but I think there is a lack of logic: how can the fixer fail? is this his first mission maybe? or someone is setting him up?
    Is the fixer a perfectionist, so why does he fail? Is the fixer a clown, so why mafia hired him?

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  3. Posted: September 28, 2015In: Crime

    A soldier returns to his hometown only to find it more corrupt then before he left. In order to fix things he must go against everything he stands for.

    Jean-Marie Mazaleyrat Logliner
    Added an answer on October 13, 2015 at 5:19 am

    ?Hello Clint,Personnally, I?like 'everything he stands for', which implies he is sensed also as a corrupt person:'When a?soldier finds his?hometown more corrupt than before?he left, he must fight his own world?to fix things.'?'When a?soldier finds his?hometown more corrupt than when?he left, he mustRead more

    ?

    Hello Clint,

    Personnally, I?like ‘everything he stands for’, which implies he is sensed also as a corrupt person:

    ‘When a?soldier finds his?hometown more corrupt than before?he left, he must fight his own world?to fix things.’

    ?’When a?soldier finds his?hometown more corrupt than when?he left, he must fight what?he stands for?to fix things.’

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