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A high school student becomes an unwitting pawn in a game between two teachers, and she must find a way to outwit them in order for her to get accepted to university.
What game are the teachers playing? How is it related to a student's being accepted elsewhere? How can she outwit others when she's unwitting? You're describing a conflict without actually telling us what the story is about. It has to be clear, simple, and compelling. Do it without commas to punch iRead more
What game are the teachers playing? How is it related to a student’s being accepted elsewhere? How can she outwit others when she’s unwitting?
You’re describing a conflict without actually telling us what the story is about. It has to be clear, simple, and compelling. Do it without commas to punch it up and keep it flowing forward.
See lessWhen a self proclaimed DJ chases after power and notoriety, with the help of her best friend and mentor, she must try to keep her thrown in tact from the enviousness of another DJ even if that means going beyond her moral beliefs.
Sounds good. Wonder if you can shorten it. Maybe leave out the middle piece between the commas. And add some detail about the moral challenge.
Sounds good. Wonder if you can shorten it. Maybe leave out the middle piece between the commas. And add some detail about the moral challenge.
See lessAs their lives begin to fall apart, an alcoholic bar supply salesman helps his best friend, an MMA fighter, chase his childhood dream to play music at a storied Austin, Texas venue.
Because the MMA fighter is the character with the goal, it seems that he would be the likely lead character, if that is the case the logline should be written from his perspective. However, if the alcoholic bar supply salesman is the lead character then this version is fine.
Because the MMA fighter is the character with the goal, it seems that he would be the likely lead character, if that is the case the logline should be written from his perspective.
However, if the alcoholic bar supply salesman is the lead character then this version is fine.
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