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At the cost of his own life, a severely paranoid father supernaturally links the lives of his two sons. Growing up to find themselves on the opposite sides of the law -one destined to catch the other, the brothers will come to face the consequence of their father’s paranoia, at the risk of their very own existence.
You have the inkling of a good concept here, but your logline lacks an actual plot as it reads more like an ad or teaser. Make sure it is clear who your protagonist is, what he wants, what's in the way and what action is taken to achieve his goal.
You have the inkling of a good concept here, but your logline lacks an actual plot as it reads more like an ad or teaser. Make sure it is clear who your protagonist is, what he wants, what’s in the way and what action is taken to achieve his goal.
See lessAfter being sexually abused by his older sister as a child, a man struggles to cope with the abuse by getting addicted to alcohol.
An inciting incident should not be 20 years old, Also a lead character should have a goal.
An inciting incident should not be 20 years old, Also a lead character should have a goal.
See lessA day in the life of an industrious London school girl and her friends as her crime boss father faces conflict.
This isn't a logline. A logline is a concise summary of the plot up to either the midpoint or the beginning of the final act, using (ideally) no more than 40 words and phrased as a single sentence (maybe two). At the moment, you haven't specified any conflict that our protagonist is experiencing. HeRead more
This isn’t a logline. A logline is a concise summary of the plot up to either the midpoint or the beginning of the final act, using (ideally) no more than 40 words and phrased as a single sentence (maybe two).
At the moment, you haven’t specified any conflict that our protagonist is experiencing. Her father faces conflict, but she doesn’t. So why are we following her story? She needs a goal, obstacles, the incident that kicks her story off, and, most importantly, a hook.
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