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A reckless fourteen-year-old aeronaut plans on breaking out his orphan keeper from a foreign prison using a magic hot air balloon.
This is a really intriguing idea! The term "his orphan keeper" is confusing. It's not a term really used in English so can you clarify who this character is and what their relationship to the protagonist is? Is the orphan keeper the 14 year old's legal guardian, mother figure, father figure? Or areRead more
This is a really intriguing idea!
The term “his orphan keeper” is confusing. It’s not a term really used in English so can you clarify who this character is and what their relationship to the protagonist is? Is the orphan keeper the 14 year old’s legal guardian, mother figure, father figure? Or are they the person who runs the orphanage? If that’s the case you could use something like this:
An orphaned young aeronaut is thrilled to find his hot air balloon has mystical powers and plots to use this magic in a daring attempt to break his loving father figure out of prison.
I hope this is helpful!
See lessTasked to infiltrate a country of male supremacy, Lilly must suppress her rebellious nature to seize stolen technology in order to earn her freedom; but what else must she sacrifice on her mission to freedom?
This logline is written in kinda an oddly circular way. The leads goal is to earn her freedom But the reason her freedom is in danger is that she snuck into a country ruled by oppressive men. So if she hadn't snuck into the country in the first place, she wouldn't have to earn her freedom.
This logline is written in kinda an oddly circular way.
The leads goal is to earn her freedom
But the reason her freedom is in danger is that she snuck into a country ruled by oppressive men.
So if she hadn’t snuck into the country in the first place, she wouldn’t have to earn her freedom.
See lessA young man sees his dead girlfriend through near death experiences.
In the context of a logline this can be the inciting incident of the film. The premise has potential. His dramatic need to keep seeing his girlfriend can drive him to commit near death experiences. What stops him from doing so will provide the conflict necessary for a good story. So two things. JustRead more
In the context of a logline this can be the inciting incident of the film. The premise has potential. His dramatic need to keep seeing his girlfriend can drive him to commit near death experiences. What stops him from doing so will provide the conflict necessary for a good story.
So two things. Justifying the dramatic need to keep seeing her (beyond the nature of their relationship), some unfinished business or maybe the dead girlfriend leading him towards her cause of death. This could also lead you to the second thing – what’s stopping him? for instance, in this case, the forces responsible for her death could be preventing him from committing a series of NDEs.
Hope this helps.
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