1. Posted: March 8, 2018In:

    When her kingdom is sacked by the aztecs, a naive princess must use dangerous magic to protect the last of her people from the brutal jaguar warriors.

    dpg Singularity

    I can see how the magic would be dangerous to her enemies -- but is it dangerous to her?? If so, how?

    I can see how the magic would be dangerous to her enemies — but is it dangerous to her?? If so, how?

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  2. Posted: February 21, 2018In:

    When an archaeologist dies by a powerful being, a package is sent to his girlfriend, containing powerful information leading to the destruction. The girl must find the items in the book in order to save humanity for the monster that is coming.

    Richiev Singularity

    The destruction of what? You are missing a word that would help the logline.

    The destruction of what? You are missing a word that would help the logline.

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  3. Posted: February 20, 2018In:

    After discovering his sister, presumed dead, is alive, a soldier must betray his father, the general, to save her.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    This logline has some high stakes and a good backdrop but lacks some critical details. I think the intention is that the sister was reported as killed in battle, then new reports came in that she is still alive but behind enemy lines, is that the case? If so, there's no need to describe her as presuRead more

    This logline has some high stakes and a good backdrop but lacks some critical details.

    I think the intention is that the sister was reported as killed in battle, then new reports came in that she is still alive but behind enemy lines, is that the case? If so, there’s no need to describe her as presumed dead – the emotional stakes of wanting to save your sibling are high enough as it is. Why not change it so the inciting incident is – After his sister is caught behind enemy lines during a war between humans and elves…

    The whole betraying father element pales in comparison to his efforts in fighting the enemy to save the sister – that’s where your major conflict and obstacles will be, the dad will calm down once sis is back safe and sound.

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