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When her occult bookshop is burned down, an angry, self-loathing Witch must stop a secret organisation from murdering powerful witches.
If you were to detail the description of the antagonist it would help understand the story. It's not 'giving away' the ending, it's a necessity for the reader to understand your story.
If you were to detail the description of the antagonist it would help understand the story. It’s not ‘giving away’ the ending, it’s a necessity for the reader to understand your story.
See lessAfter his son is shot in a drive-by, a gangster must use his crippled werewolf abilities to kill the vengeful vampire who has been attacking his gang.
I think that making a gang of werewolves vs a gang of vampires is just the premise of a number of other movies. It is just a CGI fest while I am writing a much more personal story set in an urban world. Besides, I wouldn't really see the point of a pack of werewolves or vampires entrenching themselvRead more
I think that making a gang of werewolves vs a gang of vampires is just the premise of a number of other movies. It is just a CGI fest while I am writing a much more personal story set in an urban world. Besides, I wouldn’t really see the point of a pack of werewolves or vampires entrenching themselves in an urban landscape like that. Rather than being a gangster setting with a touch of magic, it becomes a magical setting with some urban combat thrown in.
In other words, putting too much magic into a story like this takes away the ‘magic’ of the story.
Putting a whole pack of werewolves into it takes away from the story, which is pretty simple. One woman trying to get vengeance, and one man trying to protect everything he has left. While the gangs are used by both sides, they are put to the fairly quickly as the two powerhouses battle it out.
And in response to “For this genre, I submit that ideally, the inciting incident should establish ? or at least tip a reader off ? what kind of world or character the story is about.”
It does. It’s about a gangster, it just happens to have some magic thrown in.
See lessThanks for your input. I will review this thread again and see if I can find any suggestions to include.
a frustrated female werecat trying to be with the woman she loves discovers an ancient secret hidden beneath the city and fights alongside a surprising ally to prevent all out destruction
"...a frustrated female werecat trying to be with the woman she loves..." this part of the logline adds nothing relevant to the plot. Best to cut that part and change it to a character flaw that will make it harder for her to achieve her goal. As Richiev noted, the discovery of a danger to the wholeRead more
“…a frustrated female werecat trying to be with the woman she loves…” this part of the logline adds nothing relevant to the plot.
Best to cut that part and change it to a character flaw that will make it harder for her to achieve her goal.
As Richiev noted, the discovery of a danger to the whole city is a the inciting incident – many lives are suddenyl at risk. This means that her goal will be to stop the destruction and it needs to be described as such in the logline.? Best to include the type of danger the city is in and the action she will take to stop it.
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