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  1. Posted: October 24, 2016In: Horror

    Sinister things start to happen in Dave’s house after he hangs up a painting he received from an anonymous sender.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on October 25, 2016 at 10:18 am

    This is a situation, the story would be what does he do about it. I also agree with dpg, instead of just saying 'sinister things start to happen' you should give us a specific example. Do voices tell the lead to kill? Do the walls begin to bleed? Does Donald Trumps hair jump out of the TV and attackRead more

    This is a situation, the story would be what does he do about it.

    I also agree with dpg, instead of just saying ‘sinister things start to happen’ you should give us a specific example. Do voices tell the lead to kill? Do the walls begin to bleed? Does Donald Trumps hair jump out of the TV and attack the lead character? One specific is better than a hundred vague’s.

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  2. Posted: October 23, 2016In: Horror

    She has a bright future, but when her boyfriend gets caught up in an experiment with murderous implications, she must find him, survive his brainwashed mind, and do whatever it takes to bring him home.

    S.C.Will Logliner
    Added an answer on October 24, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    Thank you for your comments. Here is my new version: When her boyfriend is forced to participate in an experiment that trains him to kill, a perfect student must abandon school to find him and save him before he kills her, himself, or them both.

    Thank you for your comments. Here is my new version:

    When her boyfriend is forced to participate in an experiment that trains him to kill, a perfect student must abandon school to find him and save him before he kills her, himself, or them both.

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  3. Posted: October 23, 2016In: Horror

    When a zombie virus infects a small Southern town, a pregnant teen must fight the undead while hiding her condition from her conservative family.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on October 24, 2016 at 11:39 am

    Considering the many Zombie movies already on offer, what will stand out is a twist on the tropes of the genre. In this case, you have a pregnant teenager as the undead fighting extraordinaire MC. Pregnancy could be a "hook", as the handicap of carrying a big belly could prove interesting, not forgeRead more

    Considering the many Zombie movies already on offer, what will stand out is a twist on the tropes of the genre. In this case, you have a pregnant teenager as the undead fighting extraordinaire MC. Pregnancy could be a “hook”, as the handicap of carrying a big belly could prove interesting, not forgetting that she must protect her unborn child. However, I’m not sure this is enough to get the concept over the much needed “hook” edge. The concept may need something in addition, for it to stand out in such a crowded marketplace.

    As the genre is so well known already, you can drop the first clause altogether, and simply replace it with; After a Zombie outbreak…

    Otherwise agreed with the other comments, hiding her pregnancy doesn’t compare with staying alive in terms of stakes.

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