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When a dangerous spirit-god is summoned, a fearful college student must attempt to rescue his adventurous best friend whom the spirit-god has possessed.
Too few details and too many vague descriptions in this logline. As DPG pointed out, what? Who? Why? Where. Regarding the?structure, you mention the inciting incident at the end: "...his adventurous best friend whom the spirit-god has possessed?". Best to relocate your inciting incident to the startRead more
Too few details and too many vague descriptions in this logline.
As DPG pointed out, what? Who? Why? Where.
Regarding the?structure, you mention the inciting incident at the end: “…his adventurous best friend whom the spirit-god has possessed?”. Best to relocate your inciting incident to the start of the logline, so the reader can understand the premise and motivation when the first read the logline.
See lessAn Introvert, fed up with his mediocre life, runs off and ends up in a twisted experiment, his girlfriend must then find and save him from his own brainwashed mind before he is lost forever.
As FFF said. ?Whose story is it? ?Who is the protagonist?Also the nature of the experiment needs to be made specific. ?How was he brain washed? ?What exactly happens to him that puts him in jeopardy?Finally, ?as a card-carrying introvert (and ?content and proud), I take a special interest in storiesRead more
As FFF said. ?Whose story is it? ?Who is the protagonist?
Also the nature of the experiment needs to be made specific. ?How was he brain washed? ?What exactly happens to him that puts him in jeopardy?
Finally, ?as a card-carrying introvert (and ?content and proud), I take a special interest in stories where a principal character is portrayed as an introvert. ?Taking this logline at face value, my 1st impression is that the logline plays into the negative stereotype of introverts. ? Introversion has its own unique strengths, ?albeit sometimes challenging to portray in cinema, I grant you.
I hope I’m wrong, that you have enough (personal?) knowledge and understanding of introversion to portray the character with sympathy, insight and authenticity. ?
Just saying.
See lessAfter inheriting his estranged father?s rundown Hotel, a disgraced PR agent must save it from impending demolition. When his first guest hangs himself and returns as a mischievous ghost, the owner has to use his skills and this pest to bring business back to life.
The second half of this logline is better than the first. Start from the period
The second half of this logline is better than the first. Start from the period
See less