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When her password becomes defunct, PersephV must memorize something like “VMIynOLEs7yRMsZE7SxWuiadS766asdf” (but not quite that) in order to post her next logline.
Very funny!
Very funny!
See lessJohn Dillinger tangles with gunslingers and the undead in a lawless dust bowl town.
Agreed with DPG. Also the logline describes two potential antagonists the undead and a gunslinger, but which one will cause the most conflict and to that matter provide the last obstacle in act 3? That's the only one that should be in the logline.
Agreed with DPG.
Also the logline describes two potential antagonists the undead and a gunslinger, but which one will cause the most conflict and to that matter provide the last obstacle in act 3? That’s the only one that should be in the logline.
See lessWhen a cynical surgeon renounces his ancestral ties with a cabalistic tradition, he becomes the target of a dark force and must battle a phantasmagorical creature unleashed by the dark force to destroy him and everything he holds dear.
I like this one! I see just a couple of problems, 1-the main character is passive ("he finds himself the target"). Focus about his actions, more than his reactions. What does the main character do? 2-"a supernatural, dark force that unleashes a phantasmagorical, savage creature to destroy him and evRead more
I like this one!
I see just a couple of problems,
1-the main character is passive (“he finds himself the target”). Focus about his actions, more than his reactions. What does the main character do?
2-“a supernatural, dark force that unleashes a phantasmagorical, savage creature to destroy him and everything he holds dear.” this is a beautiful and rich prose but not appropriate for a logline. Too long and too vague an too complicated (a force that unleashes a creature… well A creature is enough!)
One more thing, “estranged” is one of the most used adjective to characterize the protagonist. And?I alwayes feel like?the writer failed to find a truly appropriate adjective. What I like is when?the adjective makes sense with the story, be linked to another element, it represent a flaw to be overcome.
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