1. Posted: March 5, 2016In:

    When a cynical surgeon renounces his ancestral ties with a cabalistic tradition, he becomes the target of a dark force and must battle a phantasmagorical creature unleashed by the dark force to destroy him and everything he holds dear.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    I'm guessing there is a link between his past and present,?but I don't see it.Specifically, what is the causal relationship between his renunciation of his ancestral tradition and the other elements in the logline, being mysteriously locked out, the savage creature?If?that renunciation is?back storyRead more

    I’m guessing there is a link between his past and present,?but I don’t see it.

    Specifically, what is the causal relationship between his renunciation of his ancestral tradition and the other elements in the logline, being mysteriously locked out, the savage creature?

    If?that renunciation is?back story rather than a causal, inciting incident,, it serves no purpose in the logline and can probably?be deleted.

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  2. Posted: March 1, 2016In:

    When a recluse programmer is coerced into camping and survives a Werewolf attack, he must find a cure and escape the sadistic poachers hunting him.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    The main character being coerced is not important to the plot and can be cut from the logline, what is important is the Werewolf attack. This describes the genre and gets the story started. Here is my try: After a reclusive programmer survives a Werewolf attack, he must find a cure as he escapes theRead more

    The main character being coerced is not important to the plot and can be cut from the logline, what is important is the Werewolf attack.
    This describes the genre and gets the story started.

    Here is my try:
    After a reclusive programmer survives a Werewolf attack, he must find a cure as he escapes the sadistic Werewolf hunters chasing him.

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  3. Posted: February 8, 2016In:

    Failed documentarian roams the New Mexico mountain hunting a story until he stumbles onto a cult of women crucifying drug dealers to purge sin. He believes he’s found the story of a lifetime if he can live to tell it. Breaking Bad meets The Lottery.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, I LOVE the idea: the main character (failed documentarist) and the inciting incident (the crucifiction practices), PLEASE try to articulate the plot starting from that. Try to analyze "the wicker man" (the original and the remake), I think you can find ?some clues about how to structure yourRead more

    Hello, I LOVE the idea: the main character (failed documentarist) and the inciting incident (the crucifiction practices), PLEASE try to articulate the plot starting from that. Try to analyze “the wicker man” (the original and the remake), I think you can find ?some clues about how to structure your story. Maybe the documentarist receive a call from an old friend or an ex collegue telling him to come to the town. ?When he founds his friend crucified. now he knows that he has a story for his documentary… je must understand what happens in the town and make his documentary at the risk of his own life. Something like that?

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