Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A young lawyer discovers through the diary of one of his ancestors that his family has served an ancient vampire for generations, so he must decide between succumbing to power and greed or doing the right thing and losing everything.
I would avoid loglines that end with a choice. Because watching a 90 movie where the lead is like "Should I?" or "Shouldn't I?" Makes the lead seem indecisive. Besides 90 minutes of someone trying to make a decision isn't very compelling. Instead, I would have the lead be 'Trapped' The lead discoverRead more
I would avoid loglines that end with a choice. Because watching a 90 movie where the lead is like “Should I?” or “Shouldn’t I?” Makes the lead seem indecisive. Besides 90 minutes of someone trying to make a decision isn’t very compelling.
Instead, I would have the lead be ‘Trapped’
The lead discovers he is bound by a contract his ancestors made and the story would be him trying to figure a way out.
Dig your lead into a hole then start shoveling dirt on top of him.
See lessFive delinquents must find a way to survive when they are sent to a behavioural camp run by a sadistic cult.
Dig it! Consider the following to strengthen your logline: 1. Anything more to these delinquents? They may just be a motley crew of felonious youths with nothing in common except being forced to this camp – and survive. Any elaborations may help to provide an ironic play on words for your premise. 2Read more
Dig it!
Consider the following to strengthen your logline:
1. Anything more to these delinquents? They may just be a motley crew of felonious youths with nothing in common except being forced to this camp – and survive. Any elaborations may help to provide an ironic play on words for your premise.
2. What’s this sadistic cult’s MO – what are they known for? I read once a boot camp that had “fight nights”.
3. A camp destination/location is key for reader orientation.
4. Most camps have a set timeframe, maybe you can use this as your ticking clock devise e.g., “… must survive a three day …” just food for thought.
This is what I can see so far:
“A group of delinquents must survive a behavioral boot camp ran by a sadistic cult”
Hope you found this constructive, keep going!
See lessCriminal investigator Darryl Blake groups with four detective trainees to gather evidence involving snuff video related crimes taken place at a university. While insisting ASPD student Matthew Efflick may be the culprit, almost little to no evidence can be found to prove it; all while he’s continuing his murderous pursuit.
Using a detective organization as your lead doesn't draw the reader in. It's impersonal. Instead, you should have a lead character in your logline. Someone to who the reader can attach and want to follow.
Using a detective organization as your lead doesn’t draw the reader in. It’s impersonal.
Instead, you should have a lead character in your logline. Someone to who the reader can attach and want to follow.
See less