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Five delinquents must find a way to survive when they are sent to a behavioural camp run by a sadistic cult.
Dig it! Consider the following to strengthen your logline: 1. Anything more to these delinquents? They may just be a motley crew of felonious youths with nothing in common except being forced to this camp – and survive. Any elaborations may help to provide an ironic play on words for your premise. 2Read more
Dig it!
Consider the following to strengthen your logline:
1. Anything more to these delinquents? They may just be a motley crew of felonious youths with nothing in common except being forced to this camp – and survive. Any elaborations may help to provide an ironic play on words for your premise.
2. What’s this sadistic cult’s MO – what are they known for? I read once a boot camp that had “fight nights”.
3. A camp destination/location is key for reader orientation.
4. Most camps have a set timeframe, maybe you can use this as your ticking clock devise e.g., “… must survive a three day …” just food for thought.
This is what I can see so far:
“A group of delinquents must survive a behavioral boot camp ran by a sadistic cult”
Hope you found this constructive, keep going!
See lessCriminal investigator Darryl Blake groups with four detective trainees to gather evidence involving snuff video related crimes taken place at a university. While insisting ASPD student Matthew Efflick may be the culprit, almost little to no evidence can be found to prove it; all while he’s continuing his murderous pursuit.
Using a detective organization as your lead doesn't draw the reader in. It's impersonal. Instead, you should have a lead character in your logline. Someone to who the reader can attach and want to follow.
Using a detective organization as your lead doesn’t draw the reader in. It’s impersonal.
Instead, you should have a lead character in your logline. Someone to who the reader can attach and want to follow.
See lessA couple race against time to track down a high school student who murdered their daughter.
I’m missing the "why them" to save the day and not the police and why the parents of this murdered teen have to race against time - are they next? Keep going.
I’m missing the “why them” to save the day and not the police and why the parents of this murdered teen have to race against time – are they next?
Keep going.
See less