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Criminal investigator Darryl Blake groups with four detective trainees to gather evidence involving snuff video related crimes taken place at a university. While insisting ASPD student Matthew Efflick may be the culprit, almost little to no evidence can be found to prove it; all while he’s continuing his murderous pursuit.
Using a detective organization as your lead doesn't draw the reader in. It's impersonal. Instead, you should have a lead character in your logline. Someone to who the reader can attach and want to follow.
Using a detective organization as your lead doesn’t draw the reader in. It’s impersonal.
Instead, you should have a lead character in your logline. Someone to who the reader can attach and want to follow.
See lessA couple race against time to track down a high school student who murdered their daughter.
I’m missing the "why them" to save the day and not the police and why the parents of this murdered teen have to race against time - are they next? Keep going.
I’m missing the “why them” to save the day and not the police and why the parents of this murdered teen have to race against time – are they next?
Keep going.
See lessA resourceful woman tries to single-handedly kill a nocturnal monster that’s after her and her disabled best friend.
Take out the adjectives. "A woman tries to single-handedly kill a monster that's after her best friend."
Take out the adjectives.
“A woman tries to single-handedly kill a monster that’s after her best friend.”
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