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A wheelchair-bound girl must learn to use her physical abilities to save herself and friends from a pack of female zombies.
I think your concept is good, the logline, as expressed by Danzig does need a little workI would say a movie about a woman learning to use her physical abilities seems weird, Maybe she searches youtube, "How to use Physical abilities" then goes to the library and checks out a book on learning physicRead more
I think your concept is good, the logline, as expressed by Danzig does need a little work
I would say a movie about a woman learning to use her physical abilities seems weird, Maybe she searches youtube, “How to use Physical abilities” then goes to the library and checks out a book on learning physical abilities. After that maybe she takes a class, finally after learning to use her abilities in the third act she saves the day.
Instead, I would focus on what she actually must do.
This is just an example yours would be different:
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“When the zombie apocalypse lands smackdab in her small town, a wheelchair-bound radio aficionado and her friends must trek up the local mountain and send out a zombie-killing radio wave in order to save the world from the brain-eating freaks.”
See lessWhen his devout daughter is possessed by the spirits of two revengeful children in order to exact revenge on their remorseless nurse, an accused and suspended priest must pull himself together and exorcise her before she kills the nurse- who happens to be his wife.
I'm honestly not getting much intrigue out of your explanation about why the children are angry.? I think the priest being "suspended" in some way is interesting.? And him trying to expunge the spirits from his daughter before they kill his wife is interesting.? I think this would make for a very clRead more
I’m honestly not getting much intrigue out of your explanation about why the children are angry.? I think the priest being “suspended” in some way is interesting.? And him trying to expunge the spirits from his daughter before they kill his wife is interesting.? I think this would make for a very clean logline too:
A disgraced priest must exorcise vengeful spirits from his daughter before she kills his wife.
Definitely see if others agree and disagree with me, however, before taking my advice.
See lessMary believes that she is having a cryptic pregnancy, but her doctor and her boyfriend don?t believe her. After she gives birth at home her child is taken from her by mysterious government organization, Mary has to fight her own self doubt to recover her child and prove her sanity.
Kind of like a horror retelling of the Jesus birth story... in concept, it sounds good, but in its current form the logline isn't working. It's too wordy and most readers won't get past the logic flaws.? Also, best to define one goal, and in this case, her sanity pales in comparison to finding her bRead more
Kind of like a horror retelling of the Jesus birth story… in concept, it sounds good, but in its current form the logline isn’t working.
It’s too wordy and most readers won’t get past the logic flaws.? Also, best to define one goal, and in this case, her sanity pales in comparison to finding her baby.