1. Posted: November 22, 2019In:

    Chained together by backwoods cannibals, a bank robber and his hostage escape and must survive in unknown terrain – while the hostage is desperate to save her daughter, who they left with their captors.

    lempicka Logliner

    I agree with Richiev - I think you need to choose a protagonist for us to follow - and the hostage seems like the likely choice. He/she then has has to escape the cannibals to rescue his/her daughter.

    I agree with Richiev – I think you need to choose a protagonist for us to follow – and the hostage seems like the likely choice. He/she then has has to escape the cannibals to rescue his/her daughter.

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  2. Posted: November 22, 2019In:

    Suspected of murdering a cop’s daughter, the new couple in town, both ex-cons, believe their reputable neighbour is the real perpetrator – and set out to entrap him, before the town’s mass hysteria reaches boiling point.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    To make it leaner I could technically cut... "before the town's mass hysteria reaches boiling point".  

    To make it leaner I could technically cut…

    “before the town’s mass hysteria reaches boiling point”.

     

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  3. Posted: November 15, 2019In:

    Suspecting their cop neighbour of killing and eating children, a couple, new in town, set out to prove it – during his New Year’s Eve party.

    Richiev Singularity

    What sets the story in motion? You say they suspect their neighbor of killing and eating children, but there must be an event that causes that belief. Unless it would take up too much word space adding the specific inciting incident to the logline will help clarify the story.

    What sets the story in motion?

    You say they suspect their neighbor of killing and eating children, but there must be an event that causes that belief.

    Unless it would take up too much word space adding the specific inciting incident to the logline will help clarify the story.

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