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  1. Posted: August 8, 2019In: Horror

    When a small town is terrorized by killer deer, an underachieving Park Ranger and her trainee must track down the source of the outbreak while keeping themselves and the townspeople from becoming the endangered species.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 8, 2019 at 9:22 pm

    kcguru:Your latest version is probably good enough.? But as I am an an OCD nit picker, I am inclined to suggest a slightly more concise version, like:When a small town is attacked by zombie deer, an underachieving park ranger searches for a cure while fighting to save the townspeople from becoming aRead more

    kcguru:

    Your latest version is probably good enough.? But as I am an an OCD nit picker, I am inclined to suggest a slightly more concise version, like:

    When a small town is attacked by zombie deer, an underachieving park ranger searches for a cure while fighting to save the townspeople from becoming an endangered species.

    (28 words versus 32 words)

    The enthusiastic trainee may be unnecessary for the logline unless, perhaps, you are playing the story as a dark comedy horror in which case the relationship between the two would be an important source of comic relief. I kind of see it as a comedy-horror flick, a parody of the trope, because of the “Bambi goes Beserk” twist/hook, innocent looking deer are an endangering species, not an endangered one.

    As for cutting out “keeping themselves”– it goes without saying they want to save themselves. So it need not be said.

    Whatever.? Zombie deer is a killer concept.?? This is a film I would definitely want to see.? Very best wishes.

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  2. Posted: June 25, 2019In: Horror

    a young Hispanic man finds himself thrust into a nightmare when he begins working at a secluded orchard owned by an eccentric elderly couple, who plan on sacrificing him to their dark tree god.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 27, 2019 at 10:29 am

    Okay, as long as the black tree fits in your allegorical scheme.? Like,? the tree of death in the fields of agribusiness as the antithesis to the tree of life in the garden of Eden.? Whatever.?(And maybe the bad seed was the result of a GMO mutation.)

    Okay, as long as the black tree fits in your allegorical scheme.? Like,? the tree of death in the fields of agribusiness as the antithesis to the tree of life in the garden of Eden.? Whatever.

    ?

    (And maybe the bad seed was the result of a GMO mutation.)

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  3. Posted: June 17, 2019In: Horror

    When a troubled hospice nurse accepts a new job caring for a mysterious couple?s granddaughter on their rural plantation, she must protect her young patient from a violent attacker bent on revenge.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 20, 2019 at 8:35 am

    Actually,? I think? "on her rural plantation"? can be cut.? The particular setting is extraneous to the logline. What isn't extraneous and needs more particularity is what constitutes the "evil intentions".? There are so many? ways people can behave with "evil intentions" -- which one applies to thiRead more

    Actually,? I think? “on her rural plantation”? can be cut.? The particular setting is extraneous to the logline.

    What isn’t extraneous and needs more particularity is what constitutes the “evil intentions”.? There are so many? ways people can behave with “evil intentions” — which one applies to this story?? Is she going to be offered up in a ritual sacrifice?? And isn’t the initial attack, the inciting incident,? a kidnapping?? If so,? that is how the incident should be described.

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