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UPDATED: AN AGORAPHOBIC WRITER WHO WAS FAMOUSLY ABDUCTED WITH HER BEST FRIEND WHEN SHE WAS 13 YEARS OLD, MUST OVERCOME HER FEARS, AND BATTLE A MENACING ENTITY FROM HER CHILDHOOD. IF SHE SURVIVES, SHE CAN FINALLY WRITE THE STORY EVERYONE WANTS TO READ. THE TRUTH.
Agreed with the above, the details of the obstacle will make this interesting - what is this monster all about that makes it terrifying? Does it inhibit children's dreams? Is it a chainsaw wielding madman? A riddler who locks his victims in a room with their key to salvation at their fingertips? LasRead more
Agreed with the above, the details of the obstacle will make this interesting – what is this monster all about that makes it terrifying? Does it inhibit children’s dreams? Is it a chainsaw wielding madman? A riddler who locks his victims in a room with their key to salvation at their fingertips?
Lastly, the backstory is less important and should be cut, the character description is what makes the story interesting.
See lessAn agoraphobic writer must revisit her dark past, and battle a menacing presence, in order to survive the night, and reach the most important deadline of her life.
I like this. Intriguing. But, I have to agree with Sadie. I feel the menacing presence needs to be something more concrete. If the menacing presence is something more psychological that is hard to define,? (and I well understand the logline struggle in this scenario), I'd try and pick the most tangiRead more
I like this. Intriguing.
But, I have to agree with Sadie. I feel the menacing presence needs to be something more concrete.
If the menacing presence is something more psychological that is hard to define,? (and I well understand the logline struggle in this scenario), I’d try and pick the most tangible and vivid element.
See lessWhen her mother dies under mysterious circumstances, a resourceful young school teacher must step into her mother’s job at the secluded Winston School for Children and try to uncover the reason behind her mother’s death.
Great advice Nir. The usage of the word "Mother" 3 times in a single sentence could be avoided too. After her mother's mysterious death, a daughter takes a job in a secluded school for children hoping to solve the mystery behind the tragedy.
Great advice Nir. The usage of the word “Mother” 3 times in a single sentence could be avoided too.
After her mother’s mysterious death, a daughter takes a job in a secluded school for children hoping to solve the mystery behind the tragedy.
See less