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Raymond ex-soldier discovers a huge conspiracy targeting the world’s biggest technological exposition on earth while trying to prove his innocence in a set-up targeting his employer. He has to fight against a big multinational with controversial ideas topped by an ex Marshal of the region’s army to save his life and that of his loved ones.
Hi! Seems like you have a good start to a logline! However, it seems to have a lot going on here. What do you think about simplifying it to "one character" with a clear "major event" that establishes a clear "actionable goal" for the character? Example: "An ex-soldier is caught in a cat and mouse gaRead more
Hi! Seems like you have a good start to a logline! However, it seems to have a lot going on here. What do you think about simplifying it to “one character” with a clear “major event” that establishes a clear “actionable goal” for the character?
Example: “An ex-soldier is caught in a cat and mouse game between the mob and the police when he is framed for a crime he didn’t commit. He must prove his innocence before the mob kills his family.”
See lessA down on his luck drug dealer on the run from the law and the mob is embroiled as a piece in somebody else’s puzzle.
This logline has a ton of potential and already piqued my interest! We have the protagonist, "A down on his luck drug dealer" but it's not clear what is the action/goal is of the protagonist or what is the major event that establishes what this drug dealer's goal should be.
This logline has a ton of potential and already piqued my interest! We have the protagonist, “A down on his luck drug dealer” but it’s not clear what is the action/goal is of the protagonist or what is the major event that establishes what this drug dealer’s goal should be.
See lessStripped of his license a disgraced ER doctor running from his past reinvents himself in Japan only to be lured deep into a community with a violent secret where he must solve an unspeakable crime.
"Stripped of his license, a disgraced ER doctor reinvents himself in (Morrocco) where he is drawn deep into the criminal underworld." (With seemingly no way out) ------------------------------------------------------------ 1: I would be specific with the country, I just put Morrocco but it could beRead more
“Stripped of his license, a disgraced ER doctor reinvents himself in (Morrocco) where he is drawn deep into the criminal underworld.” (With seemingly no way out)
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1: I would be specific with the country, I just put Morrocco but it could be any country, Brazil, South Africa, Vietnam because specific is better than vague.
2: “Shocking consequences” doesn’t really tell us anything, I would leave it out or name the specific event, however, the event sounds like a plot twist, not an inciting incident so I just dropped it in my example.
Hope this helped
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