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A gay boy and girl, bullied in their youth form a deep friendship and as they turn into young adults they hear of a boy who was bullied to death, so they enroll in the high school that the boy attended, and use their amazing computer skills to get revenge on the bully by infiltrating her inner circle and using social media to turn the tables.
This is my first attempt at a log line and I am 99.9% sure it. Is way too long. Humbly looking to learn.
This is my first attempt at a log line and I am 99.9% sure it. Is way too long. Humbly looking to learn.
See lessAfter a long career, a retired sheriff in the old west is forced to defend himself against war crime allegations from the civil war. Dividing the town and discrediting his legacy.
I think it's a solid premise and logline. Here are some minor changes without changing it too much. ------------------------------------------ "After a storied career, a renown sheriff is forced to defend himself against civil war crimes, dividing his town and threatening his legacy."
I think it’s a solid premise and logline. Here are some minor changes without changing it too much.
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“After a storied career, a renown sheriff is forced to defend himself against civil war crimes, dividing his town and threatening his legacy.”
A naïve lawyer loses everything when he is targeted by an unscrupulous gang. He commits himself to infiltrating the group that wronged him to exact his revenge.
He's going to infiltrate a gang -- and no one is going to notice or suspect the outsider, the strange new face? Or recognize his appearance and voice? Aren't gangs tightly knit social units where new comers can only gain access by being vouched for someone who is already a bona fide insider? Also, tRead more
He’s going to infiltrate a gang — and no one is going to notice or suspect the outsider, the strange new face? Or recognize his appearance and voice?
Aren’t gangs tightly knit social units where new comers can only gain access by being vouched for someone who is already a bona fide insider?
Also, the logline lacks a clear statement of his game plan. “Exact his revenge” is vague, a generality. Loglines need to be clear and specific as to the plot, the action line of the story. *Exactly* how does he intend to take his revenge?
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