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When her boyfriend’s doctors are unable to treat his fatal illness, an unsophisticated Papuan girl must convince him to travel to Papua to allow her Medicine man grandfather to save the love of her life.
Honestly, I think this is the best version of this logline that you have attempted, and I 'get' the story from this logline. You have been pretty close the last few attempts and I think this one is the closest to what gets the story across!
Honestly, I think this is the best version of this logline that you have attempted, and I ‘get’ the story from this logline. You have been pretty close the last few attempts and I think this one is the closest to what gets the story across!
See lessTwo incompetent, drunken corporate video producers toil aimlessly at the bottom of a barrel no-one wants to scrape and, as they owe money to a sadistic, Ealing comedy-loving, international crime boss, they have to take increasingly frantic measures to save their lives and reproductive organs.
What is the ultimate goal of the lead character? What defines success? Also why two lead characters? You describe them as the same, they are both incompetent, drunken corporate video producers. If they are the same why not have one lead character? If they are different (In a way that will create conRead more
What is the ultimate goal of the lead character? What defines success?
Also why two lead characters? You describe them as the same, they are both incompetent, drunken corporate video producers. If they are the same why not have one lead character? If they are different (In a way that will create conflict) you should indicate that in the logline.
See lessThe Man Who Invented Scalper Bots Changes Into the Master of the Fan Jedi Order.
In a story, you have; 1: A lead character 2: Who has a goal 3: And something stands in the way of that goal. You have a lead character, But you don't have the other two elements in your logline. The goal of the lead character should be their driving force. The goal should mean the entire world to thRead more
In a story, you have;
1: A lead character
2: Who has a goal
3: And something stands in the way of that goal.
You have a lead character,
But you don’t have the other two elements in your logline.
The goal of the lead character should be their driving force. The goal should mean the entire world to that lead character.
I have no idea what your lead character wants,
I have no idea what is standing in your lead characters way
In order to make this logline more compelling you should add those two elements to the logline.
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