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  1. Posted: June 7, 2020In: Comedy

    Two goofballs Navy seals go back in time to Valley Forge and try and help out George Washington.

    AssaultRetribution Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 15, 2020 at 4:46 pm

    What do they help GW do!?

    What do they help GW do!?

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  2. Posted: June 10, 2020In: SciFi

    In the near future a young woman works for a corrupt committee imposing radical parental exams on couples to control population growth.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on June 15, 2020 at 1:03 pm

    This might work better from the point of view of a couple who want to have a child more than anything in the worldNow the couple has to jump through the hoops of this corrupt committee, which stands in the way of them achieving their goal.So you would have a lead character (One of the couple) who haRead more

    This might work better from the point of view of a couple who want to have a child more than anything in the world

    Now the couple has to jump through the hoops of this corrupt committee, which stands in the way of them achieving their goal.

    So you would have a lead character (One of the couple) who have a goal which means the world to them, and something standing in their way. (Although you might want to put a face to this committee)

    And best of all the story would be personal because everyone could relate to it.

    I say this because in your logline you have a lead character who has no goal, therefore there is no conflict. and without conflict, there is no story.

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  3. Posted: June 10, 2020In: Comedy

    A young woman, with the aid of her odd-ball friends learns to love life again after heartbreak.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on June 11, 2020 at 5:45 am

    In addition to savinh0's comment, what does she stand to lose if she fails? What are the stakes? What's getting in her way? Who or what antagonistic forces are working against her? We have to understand WHY we need to care enough about this character. As it currently stands, this is every film aboutRead more

    In addition to savinh0’s comment, what does she stand to lose if she fails? What are the stakes? What’s getting in her way? Who or what antagonistic forces are working against her? We have to understand WHY we need to care enough about this character. As it currently stands, this is every film about a break up. What sets yours apart from every other? In other words, what’s your hook?

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