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  1. Posted: January 8, 2020In: Thriller

    After an immodest teenager gets jilted at the school dance by her boyfriend and then loses the homecoming competition, she stumbles upon family secrets of lies and an unsolved murder mystery that turns her life upside down.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on January 9, 2020 at 10:29 am

    The setup and the goal should match.Your logline starts with one setup: The lead gets jilted (Which would imply being jilted is what the story is about)Then changes to family secrets.If the goal of the lead character is to solve the family secret. Then what sets the story in motion is when the leadRead more

    The setup and the goal should match.

    Your logline starts with one setup: The lead gets jilted (Which would imply being jilted is what the story is about)

    Then changes to family secrets.

    If the goal of the lead character is to solve the family secret. Then what sets the story in motion is when the lead discovers the family has a secret.

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  2. Posted: January 8, 2020In: Horror

    Introverted twins move to a new town where they endure (racially motivated) harassment; one finally decided to fight back.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on January 9, 2020 at 10:22 am

    You should give a face to the bad guy. A specific bad guy that is a focal point for the reader.It doesn't mean this character is the only one harassing the twins, it just means he is the lead instigator or main Harasser.

    You should give a face to the bad guy. A specific bad guy that is a focal point for the reader.

    It doesn’t mean this character is the only one harassing the twins, it just means he is the lead instigator or main Harasser.

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  3. Posted: January 2, 2020In: Comedy

    A cynical journalist tasked with writing a slam piece on 80?s cover bands struggles with her objectivity when she falls for the charismatic lead singer of an all-female cover band as she accompanies them during a contest to win the opening spot for a major rock band.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on January 7, 2020 at 10:51 pm

    Why would the band let her follow them around if she's writing a slam piece? Maybe she's invited to tour with them and write an article after having written the slam piece. This is the follow-up article. Is her professional integrity on the line now? Will her fans still read her stuff (which is enjoRead more

    Why would the band let her follow them around if she’s writing a slam piece? Maybe she’s invited to tour with them and write an article after having written the slam piece. This is the follow-up article. Is her professional integrity on the line now? Will her fans still read her stuff (which is enjoyed for its cynical and scathing nature) if she starts back-tracking? That to me poses the interesting dilemma – is she actually less cynical or is the love she feels for the lead singer skewing her perspective?

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