1. Posted: September 29, 2022In:

    A dysfunctional young man with a history of being unable to assimilate into normal society needs help in winning a local golf tournament and believes it comes from a talking golf ball.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi Donn Curbow, This is how I see it: "To win a local golf tournament, a dysfunctional young man asks a talking golf ball to help him win a local golf tournament." I hope this helps Good Luck

    Hi Donn Curbow,

    This is how I see it:

    “To win a local golf tournament, a dysfunctional young man asks a talking golf ball to help him win a local golf tournament.”

    I hope this helps
    Good Luck

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  2. Posted: September 28, 2022In:

    After having her first same-sex encounter, a young girl is being attacked by a masked killer.

    FilmMaker Penpusher

    It is a bit lacklustre; we're not told much about the young girl; what does her having her first same-sex experience have to do with the rest of the logline? Seems as though it was thrown in there for some sort of plot without thinking it through. It doesn't tell us much, just a generic horror/teenRead more

    It is a bit lacklustre; we’re not told much about the young girl; what does her having her first same-sex experience have to do with the rest of the logline? Seems as though it was thrown in there for some sort of plot without thinking it through. It doesn’t tell us much, just a generic horror/teen movie logline without the personality.

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  3. Posted: September 25, 2022In:

    To stave off financial ruin, an inexperienced businessman assumes control of a startup to complete their artificial intelligence project while suffering ever changing investor demands.

    Hallucigenia Penpusher

    Tweaking: To stave off financial ruin, an inexperienced businessman assumes control of a startup to complete their artificial intelligence project under pressure from ever changing investor demands.

    Tweaking:

    To stave off financial ruin, an inexperienced businessman assumes control of a startup to complete their artificial intelligence project under pressure from ever changing investor demands.

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