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When extraterrestrials who believe humans are annihilating the earth by pollution attempt to take a young boy they have bio-engineered to a new planet, the government uses armed forces to prevent this from happening, as they plan to use the boy as a super-soldier.
This confuses me because I don't understand why they have bioengineered the boy to another planet. Isn't this boy bioengineered to help save the Earth? Why would the armed forces of the Earth have the capability of preventing the boy's abduction? Maybe something like: A boy who has been bioengineereRead more
This confuses me because I don’t understand why they have bioengineered the boy to another planet. Isn’t this boy bioengineered to help save the Earth?
Why would the armed forces of the Earth have the capability of preventing the boy’s abduction?
Maybe something like:
A boy who has been bioengineered to eradicate the pollution that will end all life on Earth within a year must thwart the attempts of aliens who want to abduct him to save their world instead.
See lessIn the aftermath of a nuclear war, a young man must defend his town from an alien invasion before they can destroy everything that remains of his life.
"a young man" = protagonist "defend his town from an alien invasion" = goal "before they can destroy everything that remains of his life" = story stakes Like the simplicity of this logline. Expand on main character. Identify a psychological trait, by labeling the young man either: courageous or timiRead more
“a young man” = protagonist
“defend his town from an alien invasion” = goal
“before they can destroy everything that remains of his life” = story stakes
Like the simplicity of this logline.
Expand on main character. Identify a psychological trait, by labeling the young man either:
courageous or timid,
adventurous or cautious,
what about Impassioned or Restrained?
Notice how this gives character, to the main character, suggestive of a potential character arc, and the possibility of our hero growing, out of this imminent conflict.
See lessAn wanderer and a space princess must stop an evil emperor from having their town by ecologists in order to protect the environment.
An wanderer and a space princess must stop an evil emperor from having their town by ecologists. ----- I believe the purpose of a logline isn't just to convey a story in a concise manner, but also to see if the writer can write one single compelling sentence. After all, a script or book is basicallyRead more
An wanderer and a space princess must stop an evil emperor from having their town by ecologists.
—–
I believe the purpose of a logline isn’t just to convey a story in a concise manner, but also to see if the writer can write one single compelling sentence.
After all, a script or book is basically a series of compelling sentences, that when strung together, tell an equally compelling story.
Therefore, before anything else, I would first make sure that your logline is the best sentence you can possibly write.
Anyway, just some thoughts, Hope this helped!
(BTW, I can’t tell from logline whether this is for the Edger Rice Burroughs story, ‘Princess of Mars’ or your own original story with the same name)
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