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The voyage to the edge of the solar system and beyond our universe starts in the Sphere of Light.
Who is the lead character? What is the lead character's goal? What is standing in the lead character's way? Story is conflict. You have neither a lead character nor conflict in your logline. Adding a character, a goal and conflict will greatly improve this logline. Hope this helps, good luck with thRead more
Who is the lead character?
What is the lead character’s goal?
What is standing in the lead character’s way?
Story is conflict. You have neither a lead character nor conflict in your logline.
Adding a character, a goal and conflict will greatly improve this logline.
Hope this helps, good luck with this!
See lessThe Angel of God is brutalized by the police because of the color of his skin, and now his daughter a sergeant on the police force must choose her job or her family. The salvation of humanity is dependent on her choice. http://johnclandenstine.wix.com/thesentient
Thank you, the first 18 are essentially the set up.... the daughter appears toward the end of the first act and she is the main antagonist... by the end of the first act everything will hv started to come into focus for you giving you a perspective on American life u hv nvr seen... I promise if youRead more
Thank you, the first 18 are essentially the set up…. the daughter appears toward the end of the first act and she is the main antagonist… by the end of the first act everything will hv started to come into focus for you giving you a perspective on American life u hv nvr seen… I promise if you read 19 to 36 you will not feel the way you do, the movie is a substratum.
See lessAn angel is brutalized by the police, and now his daughter, and humanity must fight him in order to survive.
It's great that you got some positive feedback from industry contacts (and credible writers at that), but I believe that no amount of compliments will get a film made -?a clear concept that's well written will. In this instance your script may be a polished gem, but the concept coming through the loRead more
It’s great that you got some positive feedback from industry contacts (and credible writers at that), but I believe that no amount of compliments will get a film made -?a clear concept that’s well written will.
In this instance your script may be a polished gem, but the concept coming through the logline is unclear and will likely not attract as many executives to read the full script. This is a shame especially if you do indeed have a well developed strong concept and a great script.
If all of humanity is in fact a bunch of demons and the story establishes this clearly, then they should be destroyed. Logically why would the audience?care about ?their fight to survive? If anything, the audience will want to see the evil people being?destroyed.
The angel is described as the antagonist but is in fact the main character, this is confusing. Humanity is the antagonist, but it’s humanity’s fight to survive that’s described as the goal – this is also confusing.
It seems to me that you’ve taken the counter intuitive approach and made humans the bad guys and the super natural force the good guy, which is probably the hook that people like about the story. While original, this does raise many questions (as seen in this thread) about the credibility of the concept. I believe that the confusion comes down to semantics, you’ve presented a role reversal on the traditional good v evil paradigm but haven’t specified what evil means and what good means.
I suggest re thinking the logline to better reflect the main character, action and goal in the story. Bellow is a progression of logic to help clarify the requirements of a logline and bring the concept into focus:
I suggest breaking with convention and specifying the unique aspect of this world in the logline:
After an?Angel is brutalised by police, in a world where humans are Satan’s army, he must?
Seeing as the Angle ?is the main character I don’t understand?how the daughter and her dilemma fit in the concept, so I’ll try and fit her in logically as an ally:
After an?Angel is brutalised by police, in a world where humans are Satan’s army, he must rely on his daughter to help him purge the Earth of humanity before…
As no goal has been defined yet I’ll make one up, but you can replace it with what ever is the actual goal:
See lessAfter an?Angel is brutalised by police, in a world where humans are Satan’s army, he must rely on his daughter to help him purge the Earth of humanity before all life is destroyed.