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An angel living as a human being is brutalized by the police and now humanity must fight for its survival.
"...Humanity must fight for it's survival" ----- You should have one specific character who must complete one specific trial, in order to save humanity. Having the lead character be, 'humanity' which after the inciting incident, 'must fight for survival' does not draw in the reader. There is a quoteRead more
“…Humanity must fight for it’s survival”
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You should have one specific character who must complete one specific trial, in order to save humanity.
Having the lead character be, ‘humanity’ which after the inciting incident, ‘must fight for survival’ does not draw in the reader.
There is a quote, “Kill one person, it’s a tragedy, kill a million and it’s a statistic.” (Generally attributed to Joseph Stalin) For that reason;
Focus your story on one human and one goal to save humanity instead of the entire human race and your logline will draw in the reader.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessA military astronaut test flying a secret craft becomes stranded in a parallel world where the U.S. is a third world country ruled by a brutal dictator.
Does the dictator's last name, perchance, begin with a "T"? :-)The hook that spawned the franchise out of the original "Planet of the Apes" ?was ?role reversal, a world where apes ruled and humans were treated like, well, animals. ?In the origin movie (1968), the protagonist's goal is to escape captRead more
Does the dictator’s last name, perchance, begin with a “T”? 🙂
The hook that spawned the franchise out of the original “Planet of the Apes” ?was ?role reversal, a world where apes ruled and humans were treated like, well, animals. ?In the origin movie (1968), the protagonist’s goal is to escape capture and find out how in the world the relationship between apes and humans came to be reversed.
The hook in this logline seems to be that the United States (and presumably the rest of the world) exists in 2 parallel and polarized universes. ?In one, the US is the top dog, a 1st world, democratic country. ?In the the other, the US is a slumdog country, a 3rd world dictatorship. ?I think this could work depending on the dramatic relationship between the two. ? Is the slumdog country what the top dog is in dangers of becoming? ?Is the top dog country what the slumdog country has the potential to become? ?Or…?
Whatever it is need not be revealed up front, wouldn’t be in the logline. ?But have it in reserve for the pitch. ?Hollywood suits are going to want to know what is the thematic idea that yokes these diametrically opposite world’s together, the big “because” that can sustain a long term narrative.
But what should be in the logline is what the astronaut must do when he finds himself in the slumdog world. ?What is his objective goal? ?I think the series would benefit by being framed with an overarching objective goal for the protagonist, a dramatic thread that ties together and drives the narrative.
fwiw
See lessWhen a tech company?s financial software is compromised by a terrorist group, a strategist must unravel clues from an ancient work of popular Japanese fiction to prevent the global economy from collapse.
My principal issue with the logline is that the facts of actual cybertheft eclipse the fiction of this concept in terms of audacity, scale and risk.For example, the current revelations of the hacking of Swift (Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication), the backbone messaging systeRead more
My principal issue with the logline is that the facts of actual cybertheft eclipse the fiction of this concept in terms of audacity, scale and risk.
For example, the current revelations of the hacking of Swift (Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication), the backbone messaging system used by thousands of banks and companies to move tens of billions of dollars of transactions around the world every year.
How does this story top that?
See less