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  1. Posted: October 22, 2015In: SciFi

    A self-doubting gamer discovers that she is a character in a videogame and must defeat the game’s creators who want to hide the fact their characters are becoming self aware.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on October 22, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    Hello, I think "gamer" / "virtual simulation"/ "player's word" are confusing.. the gamer is a player in a virtual world and must escape in the player's world ("real" world") ? I understand but It could be better said. "When a young gamer discover his?whole world is a virtual reality game, he must fiRead more

    Hello,
    I think “gamer” / “virtual simulation”/ “player’s word” are confusing.. the gamer is a player in a virtual world and must escape in the player’s world (“real” world”) ? I understand but It could be better said.
    “When a young gamer discover his?whole world is a virtual reality game, he must find a way to escape to the real world before the game creators delete him”.
    Seen?”thirteen floor”? And “Nirvana”.

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  2. Posted: October 18, 2015In: SciFi

    In the aftermath of nuclear war, a bleak NASA scientist builds and enters a virtual recreation of the past to find a way to save civilisation, only for the system?s AI to determine humanity is beyond saving and attempts to kill her.

    Best Answer
    Knightrider Mentor
    Added an answer on October 22, 2015 at 7:23 am

    Changed the logline so not as wordy, a problem I tend to have with a lot of my loglines, so it hopefully reads a lot better

    Changed the logline so not as wordy, a problem I tend to have with a lot of my loglines, so it hopefully reads a lot better

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  3. Posted: October 9, 2015In: SciFi

    When a young woman finds out she is a prototype for factory-made humans she needs to run away from her creators who has decided to erase her due to production errors.

    Jean-Marie Mazaleyrat Logliner
    Added an answer on October 13, 2015 at 12:19 am

    Hello Stella, I assume that your logline is not about Ex Machina (Ava is not the prototype of an android series) and that your hero could be as well Rachael in Blade Runner than Ava in Ex Machina. IMO: - when discovering she's a prototype is a good inciting in cident, enough to make the story start.Read more

    Hello Stella,

    I assume that your logline is not about Ex Machina (Ava is not the prototype of an android series) and that your hero could be as well Rachael in Blade Runner than Ava in Ex Machina.

    IMO:
    – when discovering she’s a prototype is a good inciting in cident, enough to make the story start. She can learn about her fate later in the setup, and the reason why even later.
    – “A young woman” is enough. No?need of more details about your hero as we also know the most important: she’s the prototype of?an android series.
    – “production errors” is enough also.

    Try something like this :

    “When discovering she?s the prototype of an android line, a young woman must escape her creators who decided to erase her due to production defects.”

    Best.

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