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  1. Posted: August 3, 2020In: SciFi

    In a post apocalyptic nuclear bunker – a guilt ridden AI program that triggered WWIII tries to convince the last man on earth to raise it’s “child”, an innocent AI that does not know war.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 4, 2020 at 12:39 am

    A logline is not about a choice that the protagonist has to make. A logline is about the goal, the obstacles, the stakes that follow from a choice the protagonist makes. In this instance, it's a no-brainer what his choice will be: he's going to struggle to save the child. Right? So it's not an autheRead more

    A logline is not about a choice that the protagonist has to make. A logline is about the goal, the obstacles, the stakes that follow from a choice the protagonist makes.

    In this instance, it’s a no-brainer what his choice will be: he’s going to struggle to save the child. Right? So it’s not an authentic dramatic dilemma; there’s no suspense about what he will choose to do. It’s the morally right choice. And if he doesn’t make it, there’s no movie.

    I suggest reworking the logline around the story hook: the AI program.

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  2. Posted: August 1, 2020In: SciFi

    In the near future, the next pandemic divides the world into two pods: the safe – Positives, and the dangerous – Negatives. The Positives can’t get infected from each other, but can from an infected Negative. The Positives enjoy all the glories of life, the Negatives none. Some Negatives pose and cross over to live as Positives. At the penalty of death. This is their story

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on August 1, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    This is an interesting situation. However, a situation isn't a story. Who is the lead character? What do they want? What is standing in their way?

    This is an interesting situation.
    However, a situation isn’t a story.

    Who is the lead character?
    What do they want?
    What is standing in their way?

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  3. Posted: July 28, 2020In: SciFi

    After her father abandoned her, a cyborg hunter must search her identity of her father and grandfather before it’s too late.

    Philippe Le Miere Logliner
    Added an answer on July 30, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    The achievement in this post is the recognition that "change" is integral to story. To be a complete logline, however, this question of "changing" must be addressed. The answer can be found in the inciting incident. Cause and Effect. Why might a young man take steps to be adopt a family tradition? TRead more

    The achievement in this post is the recognition that “change” is integral to story.

    To be a complete logline, however, this question of “changing” must be addressed.

    The answer can be found in the inciting incident. Cause and Effect. Why might a young man take steps to be adopt a family tradition?

    This story fragment makes me think of ‘The Godfather’. However, what makes the story arc of Godfather so compelling is how a young man “doesn’t” want to adopt the old ways -> only to end up becoming a cyborg hunter (read ‘Gangster’).

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