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In the near future, the next pandemic divides the world into two pods: the safe – Positives, and the dangerous – Negatives. The Positives can’t get infected from each other, but can from an infected Negative. The Positives enjoy all the glories of life, the Negatives none. Some Negatives pose and cross over to live as Positives. At the penalty of death. This is their story
This is an interesting situation. However, a situation isn't a story. Who is the lead character? What do they want? What is standing in their way?
This is an interesting situation.
However, a situation isn’t a story.
Who is the lead character?
See lessWhat do they want?
What is standing in their way?
After her father abandoned her, a cyborg hunter must search her identity of her father and grandfather before it’s too late.
The achievement in this post is the recognition that "change" is integral to story. To be a complete logline, however, this question of "changing" must be addressed. The answer can be found in the inciting incident. Cause and Effect. Why might a young man take steps to be adopt a family tradition? TRead more
The achievement in this post is the recognition that “change” is integral to story.
To be a complete logline, however, this question of “changing” must be addressed.
The answer can be found in the inciting incident. Cause and Effect. Why might a young man take steps to be adopt a family tradition?
This story fragment makes me think of ‘The Godfather’. However, what makes the story arc of Godfather so compelling is how a young man “doesn’t” want to adopt the old ways -> only to end up becoming a cyborg hunter (read ‘Gangster’).
See lessA cyborg hunter must protect a young woman by killing a cyborg before he turns her into one.
I don't think loglines typically assume familiarity with a particular character, nor do they generally include any names. You can easily just turn that "biggest mission yet" into the inciting incident. Also, you can add some urgency by taking out the uncertainty implied with the word "might". PersonRead more
I don’t think loglines typically assume familiarity with a particular character, nor do they generally include any names. You can easily just turn that “biggest mission yet” into the inciting incident. Also, you can add some urgency by taking out the uncertainty implied with the word “might”. Personally, I still think it’s a bit dry though. I want some sort of reason why I think the cyborg hunter might not succeed, which could be easily added with an adjective. My take on this:
After a traumatized cyborg hunter manages to escape from the cyborg homeworld after months of torture, he takes on one last mission, to go back and rescue a princess from the cyborgs before they turn her into one of them.
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