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When Marcus Rosen is attacked by a unknown assailant, he awakens a hidden power that he eventually must use to stop evil from destroying humanity.
This is a good start of an idea for a log line, but I believe that it's too vague to draw in readers. I'm also confused on what the "evil" is. I'd like to know what the hidden power is, or from where it originated. Another tip that I can give is that storytelling needs irony. Irony produces interesRead more
This is a good start of an idea for a log line, but I believe that it’s too vague to draw in readers. I’m also confused on what the “evil” is. I’d like to know what the hidden power is, or from where it originated. Another tip that I can give is that storytelling needs irony. Irony produces interest in a story. Furthermore, I believe that irony is integral when creating log lines. Also, try to hook in the reader when reading this log line by providing more information. What is the evil that you’re referring to, and how if the hidden power being awakened? Also, what is Marcus Rosen’s occupation or interest?
See lessChildren taken away from their families and off the street are experimented on to become weapons in a unseen war. Only one, a young girl, survives and becomes a force to be reckoned with.
You are missing an important element, the lead character's goalTry re-writing this logline from the lead character's point of view"When she is kidnapped by a secret organization, a local street-girl turned assassin must.." (Then add her goal)
You are missing an important element, the lead character’s goal
Try re-writing this logline from the lead character’s point of view
“When she is kidnapped by a secret organization, a local street-girl turned assassin must..” (Then add her goal)
See lessA duty bound son must become the next guardian of a dangerous power.
If you say 'must', you should give us the 'or else'
If you say ‘must’, you should give us the ‘or else’
See less