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When a nice holiday cruise turns bloody, a detective is able to eliminate the murderer after his son surrenders himself to lead the detective straight to her.
As Nir Shelter said, ?it's confusing. And it seems to give away the ending, the solution to murder, something a logline should not do. ?A logline implicitly raises a dramatic question, but it never answers it.
As Nir Shelter said, ?it’s confusing.
And it seems to give away the ending, the solution to murder, something a logline should not do. ?A logline implicitly raises a dramatic question, but it never answers it.
See lessAn attention seeking YouTube prankster shames and bribes a violent scammer resulting in a battle beyond entertainment.
"When scammed and assaulted by a dodgy tradesman a professional clown prankster launches a pranking revenge and learns that deceit isn?t always funny." From reading this I still don't know his goal. "a pranking revenge" is too vague. So, specifically, what does he do to achieve his goal? For exampleRead more
“When scammed and assaulted by a dodgy tradesman a professional clown prankster launches a pranking revenge and learns that deceit isn?t always funny.”
From reading this I still don’t know his goal. “a pranking revenge” is too vague. So, specifically, what does he do to achieve his goal?
For example, say a character’s goal was to get revenge, as you state. Do they then enlist a group of highly trained soldiers to kill their objective? Do they hatch a plan to frame this person for murder and ruin their life? Or, more comedic, do they design and build a silly obstacle course and record this person going through?
The inciting incident is also vague. What kind of scam? What kind of assault? Is it sexual assault? Mental? Emotional?
“?learns that deceit isn?t always funny.” Can be cut completely. It does not describe the major plot of the story.
Example:?When a sensational YouTube clown is conned into giving giving up his car, he crafts his best joke video yet to embarrass and expose the infamous con artist.?(~28 words)
See lessGoal: To embarrass con artist.
Method: Create a prank video.
When an assassin?s bartender-girlfriend unknowingly serves a poisoned martini to his boss, he takes her on the run from hired guns to find the true culprit.
The martini seems a very minor detail (it could be a beer and the plot would be the same).
The martini seems a very minor detail (it could be a beer and the plot would be the same).
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