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When Air Force One crashes on an uncharted island, a sole-surviving publicist must safeguard nuclear codes and alert rescue before the ambitious terrorists who attacked the plane find him.
dpg made a great point about your story, because a story must be consistent within the reality it's created. However with one little ?tweek I believe your story is still viable: ------------------------------------------------------------------------- When Air Force One crashes on an uncharted islanRead more
dpg made a great point about your story, because a story must be consistent within the reality it’s created.
However with one little ?tweek I believe your story is still viable:
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When Air Force One crashes on an uncharted island, a conservative reporter must protect the only other survivor, the newly elected liberal President, before the ambitious terrorist who shot down the plane find her.
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Hope that helps, good luck with this!
See lessI.E.D is a dramatic thriller about an environmental engineer taken hostage and forced to pilot a car rigged with explosives across country. Now he must escape his captor before this rolling bomb reaches it?s destination – transcontinental oil pipeline.
As pointed out, there seems to be a problem with the internal logic of the story.An intercontinental pipeline would be very long, after all it spans two continents. There would be no way to guard it all. So if someone could hurt it with a bomb they could do it at their leisure. They could simply plaRead more
As pointed out, there seems to be a problem with the internal logic of the story.
An intercontinental pipeline would be very long, after all it spans two continents. There would be no way to guard it all. So if someone could hurt it with a bomb they could do it at their leisure. They could simply plant the bomb and walk away. Kidnapping someone and having a car bomb just seems like a lot of trouble to do an easy task.
Therefore, why kidnap someone? If that isn’t answered in the logline the story won’t make sense.
See lessEDITED: A frustrated former big-city journalist, now stuck writing for her hometown paper, exploits a local college football scandal to re-jump start her career, but the situation quickly escalates when it threatens to expose her family?s secrets
Post edit, most of the same comments still apply. What is the goal, in detail, that the main character needs to achieve? How will she know her career has been jump started? Is it a Pulitzer prize she must win? Or a specific job offer she is after with one of the bigger news outlets? What ever it isRead more
Post edit, most of the same comments still apply.
What is the goal, in detail, that the main character needs to achieve? How will she know her career has been jump started? Is it a Pulitzer prize she must win? Or a specific job offer she is after with one of the bigger news outlets? What ever it is it needs to be specified?in the logline.
Why is she desperate now? What?s the inciting incident that motivates her to need to jump start her career? This needs clarification in the logline.
Generic descriptions such as ??connected to the local, powerhouse college football program.? should be avoided, as they lack details necessary for a clear plot description.
See less