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  1. Posted: April 30, 2016In: Thriller

    When one of his tenants is found murdered, a young and na?ve landlord must find a killer lurking in a secret part of the building, or risk bankruptcy.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on May 1, 2016 at 2:25 am

    Hello, I like the concept, a sort of 'phantom of the building'!?My personal opinion is that you should cut or rewrite the elements that are not directly linked to the plot - "young" is not interesting because it doesn't relate to the rest of the story. "Naive" too is a very week characterization. AnRead more

    Hello, I like the concept, a sort of ‘phantom of the building’!?My personal opinion is that you should cut or rewrite the elements that are not directly linked to the plot – “young” is not interesting because it doesn’t relate to the rest of the story. “Naive” too is a very week characterization. Anyway, I think that a landlord investigating the death of his tenant is a clear, straigh, good concept. You can start working in deep on this story. I suggest you to build the story from the end: what or who is the killer? When you will have developped your story a little more, I’m sure you’ll be able to define your hero better.

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  2. Posted: April 30, 2016In: Thriller

    When a archeology student learns his mentor has been killed after he discovered the garden of eden he must stop an eccentric billionaire from turning the tree of knowledge into a drug for the wealthy.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on April 30, 2016 at 5:20 pm

    Why? Why must he stop the rich from getting hooked on a drug?

    Why?

    Why must he stop the rich from getting hooked on a drug?

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  3. Posted: April 24, 2016In: Thriller

    Whenever a pain in the ass hitman sleeps, he always wakes up to a new future in the middle of his next hit until he decides to stay up and abandon mission, and discovers a thieves? guild?s plot to rob Big Pharm of a drug that grants immortal health, no sleep required.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on April 25, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    Agreed with all the above comments. In order to help simplify the concept, I think best if you choose one job in which he wakes up and tell the story around that. This way you can use the first time he wakes up in the middle of a future mission as his inciting incident.

    Agreed with all the above comments.

    In order to help simplify the concept, I think best if you choose one job in which he wakes up and tell the story around that. This way you can use the first time he wakes up in the middle of a future mission as his inciting incident.

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