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  1. Posted: April 6, 2016In: Thriller

    When his mentor, a terrorist in disguise set’s him up with a bomb in a train terror attack, a Norwegian dropout, must evacuate the potential victims which will be killed in his name before the bomb kills them all.

    Benneth Logliner
    Added an answer on April 11, 2016 at 3:38 am

    This is some adjustments in my plot and logline.: "To please his Muslim girlfriend, a valiant dropout converts to Islam, gets set up by his religious mentor in a train bomb attack, he must evacuate his frantic countrymen before the bomb kills them."

    This is some adjustments in my plot and logline.:

    “To please his Muslim girlfriend, a valiant dropout converts to Islam, gets set up by his religious mentor in a train bomb attack, he must evacuate his frantic countrymen before the bomb kills them.”

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  2. Posted: April 9, 2016In: Thriller

    When a disguised terrorist on a mission in his country sets him up in a train bomb attack, a dropout battles to evacuate panicking passengers who will be killed in his name.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 10, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    The dropout is a character discription that isn't that specific. ?So try for something else. ?In a previous version, I think the terrorist was the teacher/professor. ?So rather than say how he left study, perhaps just ex-student. ?Does it even progress the story? "discovering a bomb on a train and rRead more

    The dropout is a character discription that isn’t that specific. ?So try for something else. ?In a previous version, I think the terrorist was the teacher/professor. ?So rather than say how he left study, perhaps just ex-student. ?Does it even progress the story?

    “discovering a bomb on a train and realising he has been framed as the bomber by his sleeper cell terrorist ex-professor. A (description ) must try and evacuate passenger before it explodes saving the people and his reputation”

    The last bit may not be needed. ?But this is first draft attempt.

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  3. Posted: April 9, 2016In: Thriller

    On the verge of a botched murder, a lady Sailor conspires with the victim to wreak revenge.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on April 9, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    Hello, ? ?I don get it... What murder, what victim?

    Hello, ? ?I don get it… What murder, what victim?

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