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A disgraced veteran ex-firefighter attempts to redeem his honor by volunteering to lead a team of greenhorns to combat a forest fire of epic proportions that no amount experience and training could prepare them for the dangers they’re about to face.
You’re on the right track! A couple of things jumped out at me initially: Since you already have “ex-firefighter” in the logline, you don’t need “veteran” since previous experience is already implied. You could condense what you have into something like “A disgraced ex-firefighter seeks redemption bRead more
You’re on the right track! A couple of things jumped out at me initially:
Since you already have “ex-firefighter” in the logline, you don’t need “veteran” since previous experience is already implied.
You could condense what you have into something like “A disgraced ex-firefighter seeks redemption by leading a team of green horns against a blaze that goes beyond anything they have ever faced.” However, I think I have a better suggestion:
Instead of trying to condense “to combat a forest fire of epic proportions that no amount of experience and training could prepare them for the dangers that they’re about to face” (which to be honest seems like an overused phrase), instead try to focus in on what makes this forest fire unique or different, and therefore, more dangerous, than the other forest fires out there.
For instance, you mentioned that he tries to redeem himself as a volunteer firefighter, so maybe explore what happened to the crew of active duty firefighters that led to them calling in volunteers to heighten the danger and make the stakes more specific. Obviously large forest fires will often warrant them calling in volunteers just to help contain it in general. However, maybe there’s a more specific reason that you can give it.
You mentioned how this is a team of green horns so maybe they don’t yet understand fire safety. Maybe they are just local townsfolk themselves, but when the active duty crew are missing in action, it’s up to them to finish the job.
I hope that helps! 🙂
See lessA young man named Angel who is very skilled in combat and lives in a dangerous neighborhood decides to take matter into his own hands for the people he loves most with murder
When a courageous, but macho young man skilled in combat witnesses his hometown decline into a dangerous neighborhood by a self-Indulgent gangster he must find a just heart or risk harming those round him he is trying so hard to protect. theme: retribution leads to harming oneself protagonist's wantRead more
When a courageous, but macho young man skilled in combat
witnesses his hometown decline into a dangerous neighborhood by a self-Indulgent gangster
he must find a just heart or risk harming those round him he is trying so hard to protect.
theme: retribution leads to harming oneself
See lessprotagonist’s want: to protect community
protagonist’s need: inner peace
No sound. No natural light. No human contact. Ever. A groundbreaking study with only one thing missing: a human guinea-pig.
Respectfully, this isn't a logline. A logline captures the essence of your story in a nutshell in one sentence, not to exceed 25 to 30 words. It gives a brief description of your protagonist, the goal of the protagonist, a brief description of the antagonist, and then the conflict/stakes. Try this:Read more
Respectfully, this isn’t a logline. A logline captures the essence of your story in a nutshell in one sentence, not to exceed 25 to 30 words. It gives a brief description of your protagonist, the goal of the protagonist, a brief description of the antagonist, and then the conflict/stakes.
Try this:
A psychiatric researcher voluntarily admits herself into an institution to investigate breach-of-care allegations, only to become the subject of a sinister experiment at the hands of twisted doctors.
As far as the premise is concerned, it sounds incredibly intriguing!
See less