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The scorned stepchild of a serial killer is pushed to the limit when his stepfather turns on the family and neighbors for what he perceives as their roles in the death of his biological son.
Hi OlDustyDog, I 'think' I love your premise... the reason I say think, is because I'm not exactly sure what your story is, but I know what I'd like it to be!!! ?So, as the others have pointed out, it's not clear, which leaves me projecting my own twisted desires to watch a film about a stepchild whRead more
Hi OlDustyDog,
I ‘think’ I love your premise… the reason I say think, is because I’m not exactly sure what your story is, but I know what I’d like it to be!!! ?So, as the others have pointed out, it’s not clear, which leaves me projecting my own twisted desires to watch a film about a stepchild who is being taught how to be a serial killer by his stepdad! LOL.
I honestly think Ninann22 nailed a potential premise with “A scorned child must stop his vengeful stepfather from killing his family” and would definitely recommend using that as a starting point for building your story around.
My thoughts are:
Regards
See lessTrix
‘Off The Grid’ After moving off the grid, bickering newlyweds accidentally kill the creepy neighbors kid and now must work together to escape the families vengeful wrath.
As for the logline, it seems that the story is there: the main characters cause an accident, kill a boy and now have to fend for their lives - fine. The problem is that it sounds rather generic, if not a bit flat. Perhaps if the setting was unique or the way in which the father tries to kill them waRead more
As for the logline, it seems that the story is there: the main characters cause an accident, kill a boy and now have to fend for their lives – fine. The problem is that it sounds rather generic, if not a bit flat. Perhaps if the setting was unique or the way in which the father tries to kill them was original it would help elevate the premise.
See lessRHSC (red-headed step child)
Hi Dusty, I gave this a go and added some stuff. (My interpretation from reading the original logline.) After they accidentally kill a neighbour in a fatal car crash, a newlywed couple fight to stay alive, as the man's creepy kids begin a campaign of revenge. I made the fatal accident more specific.Read more
Hi Dusty,
I gave this a go and added some stuff. (My interpretation from reading the original logline.)
After they accidentally kill a neighbour in a fatal car crash, a newlywed couple fight to stay alive, as the man’s creepy kids begin a campaign of revenge.
I made the fatal accident more specific.
Most newlyweds are young – so I’m hoping the reader will fill that in.
Admittedly, my logline reminds me of https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1020530/
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