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  1. Posted: March 15, 2020In: Thriller

    The scorned stepchild of a serial killer is pushed to the limit when his stepfather turns on the family and neighbors for what he perceives as their roles in the death of his biological son.

    Trix Samurai
    Added an answer on March 16, 2020 at 7:51 pm

    Hi OlDustyDog, I 'think' I love your premise... the reason I say think, is because I'm not exactly sure what your story is, but I know what I'd like it to be!!! ?So, as the others have pointed out, it's not clear, which leaves me projecting my own twisted desires to watch a film about a stepchild whRead more

    Hi OlDustyDog,

    I ‘think’ I love your premise… the reason I say think, is because I’m not exactly sure what your story is, but I know what I’d like it to be!!! ?So, as the others have pointed out, it’s not clear, which leaves me projecting my own twisted desires to watch a film about a stepchild who is being taught how to be a serial killer by his stepdad! LOL.

    I honestly think Ninann22 nailed a potential premise with “A scorned child must stop his vengeful stepfather from killing his family” and would definitely recommend using that as a starting point for building your story around.

    My thoughts are:

    • I guess the MC is the stepchild… but I wouldn’t be surprised if some people think the MC could be the stepdad. ?I think that may be the way you’ve stated the stepdad’s motivation. ?This could easily be the stepdad’s story.
    • “pushed to the limit” – what would this look like on screen? ?We all have very different limits. ?I’m guessing his limit is defending his life?
    • Does the kid know his dad is a serial killer? ?If he does, that’s pretty fundamental to his character.
    • “the family” – who’s family is this? ?”the” rather than “his” suggests it’s someone else’s family.
    • So the dad blames everyone? ?His own family and all his neighbours for the death of his son? ?What did they do – string him up lynch-mob style? ?Was the son innocent?
    • The fact that the stepdad kills the neighbours – I’m not sure you need this. ?The stepson may want to save them, but his bigger priority would be saving his own family.
    • How old is the stepson? ?Is he an adult or a child? ?Is it his partner and kids he’s protecting or his mum and siblings?

    Regards
    Trix

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  2. Posted: March 13, 2020In: Thriller

    ‘Off The Grid’ After moving off the grid, bickering newlyweds accidentally kill the creepy neighbors kid and now must work together to escape the families vengeful wrath.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on March 14, 2020 at 12:37 pm

    As for the logline, it seems that the story is there: the main characters cause an accident, kill a boy and now have to fend for their lives - fine. The problem is that it sounds rather generic, if not a bit flat. Perhaps if the setting was unique or the way in which the father tries to kill them waRead more

    As for the logline, it seems that the story is there: the main characters cause an accident, kill a boy and now have to fend for their lives – fine. The problem is that it sounds rather generic, if not a bit flat. Perhaps if the setting was unique or the way in which the father tries to kill them was original it would help elevate the premise.

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  3. Posted: March 12, 2020In: Thriller

    RHSC (red-headed step child)

    Best Answer
    thedarkhorse Samurai
    Added an answer on March 13, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    Hi Dusty, I gave this a go and added some stuff. (My interpretation from reading the original logline.) After they accidentally kill a neighbour in a fatal car crash, a newlywed couple fight to stay alive, as the man's creepy kids begin a campaign of revenge. I made the fatal accident more specific.Read more

    Hi Dusty,

    I gave this a go and added some stuff. (My interpretation from reading the original logline.)

    After they accidentally kill a neighbour in a fatal car crash, a newlywed couple fight to stay alive, as the man’s creepy kids begin a campaign of revenge.

    I made the fatal accident more specific.

    Most newlyweds are young – so I’m hoping the reader will fill that in.

    Admittedly, my logline reminds me of https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1020530/

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