1. Posted: November 6, 2019In:

    When a hit and run escalates into town hysteria, an ex-con and the man who accidentally killed his wife must work together when trapped in a house under siege by violent locals.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Lastly - the opening hook is the logline. We've got the isolated house.A heavy rain storm (fuck it - why not?).We see our ex-con, shot gun in hand. He's in the house. Barricaded windows and door.The locals and corrupt cops trying to get inside.The recluse is tied to a chair and beaten up, yet oddlyRead more

    Lastly – the opening hook is the logline. We’ve got the isolated house.

    A heavy rain storm (fuck it – why not?).

    We see our ex-con, shot gun in hand. He’s in the house. Barricaded windows and door.

    The locals and corrupt cops trying to get inside.

    The recluse is tied to a chair and beaten up, yet oddly quiet.

    The dilemma is laid out in simple terms.

    The corrupt cop yells out — “Why are you protecting the man who murdered your wife?”.

    The sister, who at this point has a closeness with the Ex-con, pleas that he’s innocent.

    Then these things happen:

    The locals begin chanting “KILL HIM. KILL HIM. KILL HIM”.

    The slight hint of a creepy smile grows on the recluse’s face.

    We see a corrupt cop sneak through the back and only the sister hears something from round back.

    While this happens, the door is thumping with people trying to get in…

    Then…

    We go back to a week before…

    Or something like that ha.

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  2. Posted: November 6, 2019In:

    An ex-con trapped in an isolated house with the paedophile he believes murdered his child ? must pick a side when violent locals reach boiling point following another unexplained murder.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Characters:Sam - The ex-con protagonist. A former soldier who served 10 years for manslaughter for killing the wrong man. Previously, the unsolved murder of his child led to the ruin of his marriage, life and up to the manslaughter. Returning home, he believes the killer might be... reformed paedophRead more

    Characters:

    Sam – The ex-con protagonist. A former soldier who served 10 years for manslaughter for killing the wrong man. Previously, the unsolved murder of his child led to the ruin of his marriage, life and up to the manslaughter. Returning home, he believes the killer might be… reformed paedophile and recluse, Walt.

    Walt – A recluse of 10 years since he left prison. A self-hating man with suicidal tendencies. Throughout, he is evasive and inscrutable. There are moments he wants to be killed. He wants his sister to leave him alone – get on with her life, get married, have kids. He knows he’s wrecked her life just by being there.

    Bev – Walt’s protective, ever-loyal sister. She carries the burden of living with her paedophile brother. His presence has thwarted relationships, suitors, and they’ve had to move several times. Bev wants Walt to get out the house, move on with his life and get a job.

    Bill – the local drunk and moron. Sam’s co-worker (at a factory) and a former friend from his days as a hell-raiser. Bill’s daughter is found raped and murdered. The first person he goes after and harasses is Walt. (Also – he might be a local cop? We’ll see.)

    ———————

    Central questions of the whole thing:
    Is Sam going to kill this man? Did Walt murder anyone?

    Paradigm:

    I.I. – Bill’s daughter has been found raped and murdered. Sam, planning to kill Walt, finds Bev instead. (also – there’s foreshadowing of a storm coming.) Sam gets to know this man and begins having second thoughts. The doubt begins…

    PP1 – Sam, at a crossroads, gets involved – defends Walt against violent locals. The rumour mill kicks into gear and Walt becomes a hated man…

    MP – The house under seige. In self-defence and to protect his sister, Walt kills Bill’s cop brother. Now corrupt cops get involved. All during the town’s biggest rain storm.

    PP2 – It becomes more and more likely that Walt actually is a murderer. Sam, genuinely caught between killing an innocent man or defending a guilty one.

    Crisis Climax – I’ve got some ideas for this and I’m keeping that mysterious ha.

    Sam putting a gun to Walt’s head is definitely a reversal that will happen as it’s been foreshadowed like crazy in Act 1 and in that moment will answer the central questions.

    ?

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  3. Posted: October 22, 2019In:

    When she starts being tormented by an evil force,? a business woman must seek help from her husband after he is committed to a psychiatric hospital for trying to open her third eye.

    Best Answer
    Mike Pedley Singularity

    The protagonist should never be driven to an unwanted transformation. An audience will struggle to get behind a passive character who just lets things happen to her. PROtagonists must be PROactive. I can't help but think that the husband's story is way more interesting than the wife's. He's got an iRead more

    The protagonist should never be driven to an unwanted transformation. An audience will struggle to get behind a passive character who just lets things happen to her. PROtagonists must be PROactive.

    I can’t help but think that the husband’s story is way more interesting than the wife’s. He’s got an interesting history, a quest to find the Dead Sea scrolls, and a goal of using that to get his wife back. He is the one being proactive in the story, and in interesting ways. I feel like it’s a story about a man with a tragic history trying to win back the love of his life – just in a very desperate and terrifying way.

    Could you start with him as the protagonist but at the midpoint you could flip the whole story and make her the protagonist? The lengths he goes to win her back start becoming increasingly violent and this sets up the wife’s goal of escape.

     

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