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Short Film: After the Sun went out, the earth became a cold, dangerous and dark place and people avoid leaving the house in fear of the temperature, murderers and lack of oxygen. When a young girl, depressed by her parents disappearance, realizes her little sister has left, she must go out and find her before it's too late.
What do you think of this: "In a world with no sun, a girl obsessed with her parents disappearance must face her fear of the dark ?to rescue her sister from a cult who intends to sacrifice her to the Sun god."
What do you think of this:
“In a world with no sun, a girl obsessed with her parents disappearance must face her fear of the dark ?to rescue her sister from a cult who intends to sacrifice her to the Sun god.”
See lessWith the mysterious arrival of a stolen diamond, a forensic investigator goes on a quest to Siberia to uncover a decades-old international crime linked to her lost family
Great points above. Seems like an interesting idea, keep going with it!
Great points above. Seems like an interesting idea, keep going with it!
See lessAfter the mysterious arrival of a stolen diamond and her missing brother's diary, an art forgery expert discovers that her long lost family was involved in an unsolved international crime, and is forced on a quest through the dark catacombs of Siberia to discover the truth
So many disconnects, as Nir pointed out. I'll add just two more. How does and art fraud investigator's background relate to a jewel theft? Why does she go to Europe when Siberia is in Asia? ?I had to google Siberian catacombs as I was only familiar with the European ones, Nice setting. Kudos for thaRead more
So many disconnects, as Nir pointed out. I’ll add just two more.
How does and art fraud investigator’s background relate to a jewel theft?
Why does she go to Europe when Siberia is in Asia? ?I had to google Siberian catacombs as I was only familiar with the European ones, Nice setting. Kudos for that but I not seeing the need for it in the logline.
Why ‘must’ or ?how ‘thrust’? ?Doesn’t look like anything compelling other than curiosity. As opposed to this thirty word version: ??When the?stolen Eye of the Czar diamond, ?a cryptic message. and the authorities land on her doorstep, an art fraud investigator must?prove she is not her father’s?’fence’.
I only do exactly 30 word loglines (it’s a personal challenge not some silly rule you need to follow). But it hints at a lot of the elements you’ve given us so far. Eye of the Czar ratchets up the ‘importance’ of the theft and links it to Siberia. ?Her father’s fence is what the authorities believe but it leaves it open as to what his real guilt or innocence or involvement is. and now she has to go on her journey or risk going to jail. This may not be your story but I could see where it could make your first ten pages the page turner it needs to be.
Anyway, good luck with it. Take what you want from it. Trash the rest.
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