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A revengeful ghost uses their tablet PC to plague a young family. The young mother saves them – at the cost of a horrific sacrifice.Logline:
Agree with the previous posters. Tighten it up and highlight the hero. Example to highlight the mother: A young mother fights to save her family from a vengeful ghost who haunts them through their tablets. Horrific sacrifice tells us nothing. So tell us or leave it out.
Agree with the previous posters. Tighten it up and highlight the hero. Example to highlight the mother:
A young mother fights to save her family from a vengeful ghost who haunts them through their tablets.
Horrific sacrifice tells us nothing. So tell us or leave it out.
See lessA fraud investigator must go to Europe and through Siberian catacombs to find out the truth about her father who mastermind an international criminal heist
The? inciting incident seems to be missing here.
The? inciting incident seems to be missing here.
See lessWhen a habitual liar forges the paperwork to establish a rural family practice, she soon finds herself in a blood-soaked examining room, trying to silence the screams of her poorly anesthetized patients.
When you describe the forger in the examining room you are describing a scene so I would? suggest removing it. I would be more interested to know who is the antagonist and the stakes which result from her misdeed. The essence of a logline should both entice the reader and give some semblance of whatRead more
When you describe the forger in the examining room you are describing a scene so I would? suggest removing it.
See lessI would be more interested to know who is the antagonist and the stakes which result from her misdeed.
The essence of a logline should both entice the reader and give some semblance of what your story will be.
Keep going, I would be interested to read another version.
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