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  1. Posted: August 12, 2015In: Public

    As a wildfire advances, an inexperienced deputy sheriff must evacuate his town and protect it from looters.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 13, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    In The Perfect Storm the antagonist was a rival fisherman who helps to drive the MC (on top of financial stress) via professional competition to take an extreme action in the face of danger. 'Cast Away' and 'All Is Lost' are exceptions in the genre. Naming examples is a risky thing to do because forRead more

    In The Perfect Storm the antagonist was a rival fisherman who helps to drive the MC (on top of financial stress) via professional competition to take an extreme action in the face of danger.

    ‘Cast Away’ and ‘All Is Lost’ are exceptions in the genre. Naming examples is a risky thing to do because for every example supporting one argument you can find one if not more supporting another.
    To that matter here is a little list, off the top of my head, of successful Man V nature films that had an antagonist separate to the force of nature: Twister, Volcano, Titanic (yes the story with in the story is man V nature many men and women V nature in fact but since the story was weak on its own they strung a romance story with an antagonist into it which is likely what made it so successful), The Mountain, The Grey, Dante’s Peak (Paul who doesn’t believe Harry, not a long plaid role but enough to create a dramatic premise), The Poseidon Adventure (actually has several antagonists spread across all acts) the list goes on…

    Point is while a few films in the genre worked well with no antagonist the fact is that the majority of successful films in this genre did have antagonists. This is a point worth noting and implementing when writing in the genre.

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  2. Posted: August 7, 2015In: Public

    Gerald Tinkers rise to track and football stardom as told through his mothers? eyes, culminates with a gold medal in the ?72 Munich Olympics.

    Jefferson McClure Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 13, 2015 at 8:00 am

    I don't think we need the name (unless it's someone famous), and I don't know how "football" fits in with the Olympic dream. Also, why tell the story from the mother's perspective if she's not an active part of the story (if that's really what you're going for, how about something like "After beingRead more

    I don’t think we need the name (unless it’s someone famous), and I don’t know how “football” fits in with the Olympic dream. Also, why tell the story from the mother’s perspective if she’s not an active part of the story (if that’s really what you’re going for, how about something like “After being abandoned (widowed?) by her husband, a poor, single mother pushes her reluctant son to greatness and is redeemed when he wins gold at the ’72 Olympics.”).

    Or if it’s really Gerald’s story…what is his drive, what is his fault, what obstacles must he overcome (maybe his nagging mother?)?

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  3. Posted: August 7, 2015In: Public

    Miami Air ramp-service personal engage in the systematic looting of airport luggage and merchandize, which leads to the death of eight ?Ramp Rats? and the arrest of sixty-three other luggage handlers and airport personnel.

    Jefferson McClure Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 13, 2015 at 7:43 am

    I don't think we need the "Miami Air" or "Ramp-Rats" in the logline. Also, as mentioned by other commenters, there doesn't seem to be a protagonist that is actively involved in the story. Maybe something like "When valuables start disappearing from luggage, a slacker airport security chief must plunRead more

    I don’t think we need the “Miami Air” or “Ramp-Rats” in the logline. Also, as mentioned by other commenters, there doesn’t seem to be a protagonist that is actively involved in the story.

    Maybe something like “When valuables start disappearing from luggage, a slacker airport security chief must plunge into the dangerous underground world of luggage handlers and solve the case before the body count starts to rise.” Well, that’s not great either, but you get the gist…

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