1. Posted: August 5, 2015In:

    "As a wealthy upper-class young man enters adulthood during the second US civil war, he is suddenly disowned and ousted from his family estate, causing him to experience the life of the impoverished in a military-industrial society, eventually joining the ranks on the front line to prove to his father he deserves his inheritance."

    Shadow Penpusher

    Thanks for the feedback, I have a new logline up!

    Thanks for the feedback, I have a new logline up!

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  2. Posted: August 5, 2015In:

    When a former priest on death row breaks out of prison, all he wants is a fresh start, but his serial-killer split personality only makes it harder for him to evade the FBI? and the lethal injection.

    [Deleted User]

    If the defining characteristic and flaw of the protagonist is a split personality, then that flaw has to be the major plot driver, the major source of dramatic tension. What's the dramatic tension in wanting to buy a house and how does that relate to his flaw?

    If the defining characteristic and flaw of the protagonist is a split personality, then that flaw has to be the major plot driver, the major source of dramatic tension. What’s the dramatic tension in wanting to buy a house and how does that relate to his flaw?

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  3. Posted: August 7, 2015In:

    Super star Organized Crime Prosecutor Alan Bell is exposed to toxic chemicals and forced to live near death, in a bubble for eight agonizing years. Upon emerging from his self imposed prison, Alan has acquired a ?sixth sense?, which he uses to take down over two hundred corporate polluters, finally avenging his exposure to lethal elements that had placed him on deaths doorstep.

    mrliteral Samurai

    A crusading prosecutor exposed to toxic waste gains the power of telepathy, and uses it to take down the mafia bosses who tried to kill him.

    A crusading prosecutor exposed to toxic waste gains the power of telepathy, and uses it to take down the mafia bosses who tried to kill him.

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