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When a shy courier, in a bad marriage, is allured by the friendly wife of a drug criminal, he pursues her help to overcome his social anxiety, despite exposure to his wife's brother by police phone taps.
Best to try and take on board the previous comments by implementing them in the re drafts of the logline. Inject a clear goal motivated by an inciting incident with high stakes for the MC. Love story or not this concept lacks a hook of interest and needs more his brother in law and marital status arRead more
Best to try and take on board the previous comments by implementing them in the re drafts of the logline. Inject a clear goal motivated by an inciting incident with high stakes for the MC. Love story or not this concept lacks a hook of interest and needs more his brother in law and marital status are unrelated to the plot at hand and add unnecessary elements to the logline.
After falling in love with the wife of a notorious criminal a lonely shy courier must fight the criminal’s mob to save his loves life.
See lessThis is Jess. She IS a waitress. She is having an existential crisis, and the customers are NOT helping.
'A (adjective/s) waitress having an existential crisis ...' Also, I find 'existential crisis' a bit vague. Instead, how about telling us what triggers her crisis.
‘A (adjective/s) waitress having an existential crisis …’
Also, I find ‘existential crisis’ a bit vague. Instead, how about telling us what triggers her crisis.
See lessA seemingly well adjusted 29 year old film maker is forced to face his own insecurities when forced to produce a movie on teenage female self esteem
As the others have said and Richiev's suggested logline connects in a nice ironical way to the subject of the documentary.
As the others have said and Richiev’s suggested logline connects in a nice ironical way to the subject of the documentary.
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