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A naive girl with a useless superhero power struggles to see if true love really exists.
Useless superhero power? Either you don't know the definition of useless or the concept of a superhero power. The power, whatever it is, can't be useless if it makes her a superhero. I'm reminded of the interviewing scenes in Mystery Men ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0132347/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_87 ) wRead more
Useless superhero power? Either you don’t know the definition of useless or the concept of a superhero power. The power, whatever it is, can’t be useless if it makes her a superhero. I’m reminded of the interviewing scenes in Mystery Men ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0132347/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_87 ) where a lot of people with useless super powers (note the deletion of the term hero) audition for a superhero job. Janeane Garofalo, The Bowler, gets the position as her super power can be used in a superhero capacity. That being said you need to draw a connection between whatever power she has and the inability to find true love. Right now I can halfway see a female version of Shallow Hal (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0256380/?ref_=fn_tt_tt_4). Hal is given the superpower of only being able to see inner beauty in order to find true love.
See lessA burglar gets revenge on drug dealers for past addictions keeping it secret from his D.A. brother; however after his brother?s daughter dies he has psychotic hallucinations that push him into suicidal undertakings as a vigilante.
The first half of the logline seams unrelated to the plot and can be taken out of the logline. If the story starts after the niece dies then that is the inciting incident and should be at the start of the logline. Problem is there is no clear goal specified, what is it the MC must achieve or else? ARead more
The first half of the logline seams unrelated to the plot and can be taken out of the logline.
If the story starts after the niece dies then that is the inciting incident and should be at the start of the logline. Problem is there is no clear goal specified, what is it the MC must achieve or else?
Also I don’t understand how the death of his niece would cause him to experience “…psychotic hallucinations?” and further to that how “…psychotic hallucinations?” wold necessarily cause him into being a vigilante. What is the direct cause and effect that makes one happen as a result of the other?
Lastly if he is a hallucinating, psychotic, vigilante with suicidal tendencies I find it hard to empathise with him and want to see him succeed. He sounds F’ed up and in need of help sure but certainly not a hero worth rooting for.
Hope this helps.
See lessA recently divorced doctor and an entrepreneur facing an existential crisis, form an unlikely partnership and take the help of earthly wizards to overcome the trials of life.
Same again, there line sounds interesting, but lacks clarity. 'Trials of life' is ambiguous, and there term 'earthly wizards' is confusing; is the MC not from Earth? That said, it is still possible to see a potential story within the line, but it is just unclear what the story is specifically about.Read more
Same again, there line sounds interesting, but lacks clarity. ‘Trials of life’ is ambiguous, and there term ‘earthly wizards’ is confusing; is the MC not from Earth? That said, it is still possible to see a potential story within the line, but it is just unclear what the story is specifically about.
Also, my first review, so probably don’t take the critique too seriously.
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