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Two useless secret agents are assigned the task of going undercover in Northern England in order to uncover the details of a disastrous terrorist plot being developed in a garden centre.
"Useless" seems harsh and an exaggeration. I would consider a different adjective. I don't find this logline enticing. Maybe on your next attempt, be more specific. What separates your spy/comedy (I'm assuming) from others? You don't need to specify the country this is set in. "Assigned the task" isRead more
“Useless” seems harsh and an exaggeration. I would consider a different adjective. I don’t find this logline enticing. Maybe on your next attempt, be more specific. What separates your spy/comedy (I’m assuming) from others? You don’t need to specify the country this is set in. “Assigned the task” is redundant. Instead, put: assigned to go undercover, or simply, go undercover.
See lessA teenager's life is thrown into chaos when he falls in love with a girl and realises that he must face his past and himself in order to be with her.
Hi Sam. The Logline sounds a bit vague to me. I would like to get a better idea is to who the protagonist is apart form just being a teenager and where the main conflict specifically comes from other than facing his past. Reads more like a movie tagline than a logline. From what logline it doesn't vRead more
Hi Sam. The Logline sounds a bit vague to me. I would like to get a better idea is to who the protagonist is apart form just being a teenager and where the main conflict specifically comes from other than facing his past. Reads more like a movie tagline than a logline. From what logline it doesn’t very much sound like it’s something we haven’t seen dozens of times before, so an original twist on it could really go a long way here I think.
See lessChaos ensues when a group of four teenage misfits sign up for a week-long school trip to a sleepy caravan park occupied by monotonous residents and the supernatural.
Hi Sam Garner. 1. Chaos sounds very unspecific here it makes the movie hard to visualise. So does the casual use of monotonous residents and the supernatural. Both don't make the concept clearer or more appealing, but only more vague. Try to focus in on where the major opposition/conflict will comeRead more
Hi Sam Garner.
1. Chaos sounds very unspecific here it makes the movie hard to visualise. So does the casual use of monotonous residents and the supernatural. Both don’t make the concept clearer or more appealing, but only more vague. Try to focus in on where the major opposition/conflict will come from in the script. Is there some monster they have to defeat to return alive from their school trip? Are the residents really the problem? What sort of chaos are we talking about exactly?
See less2. The prime goal of your heroes is missing entirely, which makes this concept unfocused and like it could go anywhere, but nowhere specific.