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  1. Posted: June 26, 2014In: Public

    Twelve students at a small town college develop insomnia the same night, each falling asleep only when they face their darkest demons

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on August 31, 2021 at 3:32 am

    This is a fascinating premise! I would reveal which of the twelve students is your MC and use an adjective to describe what sets them apart. Does this primarily take place on the same night, or do the twelve students find out they simultaneously developed insomnia and team up to find out why? I'm cuRead more

    This is a fascinating premise! I would reveal which of the twelve students is your MC and use an adjective to describe what sets them apart. Does this primarily take place on the same night, or do the twelve students find out they simultaneously developed insomnia and team up to find out why? I’m curious what genre this falls under. It seems like a surrealist drama/horror. How far along are you with this concept? I love the premise and want to co-write it with you if possible.

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  2. Posted: June 27, 2014In: Public

    Two useless secret agents are assigned the task of going undercover in Northern England in order to uncover the details of a disastrous terrorist plot being developed in a garden centre.

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on August 31, 2021 at 3:17 am

    "Useless" seems harsh and an exaggeration. I would consider a different adjective. I don't find this logline enticing. Maybe on your next attempt, be more specific. What separates your spy/comedy (I'm assuming) from others? You don't need to specify the country this is set in. "Assigned the task" isRead more

    “Useless” seems harsh and an exaggeration. I would consider a different adjective. I don’t find this logline enticing. Maybe on your next attempt, be more specific. What separates your spy/comedy (I’m assuming) from others? You don’t need to specify the country this is set in. “Assigned the task” is redundant. Instead, put: assigned to go undercover, or simply, go undercover.

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  3. Posted: June 27, 2014In: Public

    A teenager's life is thrown into chaos when he falls in love with a girl and realises that he must face his past and himself in order to be with her.

    beezeebee Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 29, 2021 at 8:54 pm

    Hi Sam. The Logline sounds a bit vague to me. I would like to get a better idea is to who the protagonist is apart form just being a teenager and where the main conflict specifically comes from other than facing his past. Reads more like a movie tagline than a logline. From what logline it doesn't vRead more

    Hi Sam. The Logline sounds a bit vague to me. I would like to get a better idea is to who the protagonist is apart form just being a teenager and where the main conflict specifically comes from other than facing his past. Reads more like a movie tagline than a logline. From what logline it doesn’t very much sound like it’s something we haven’t seen dozens of times before, so an original twist on it could really go a long way here I think.

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