Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Chaos ensues when a group of four teenage misfits sign up for a week-long school trip to a sleepy caravan park occupied by monotonous residents and the supernatural.
Hi Sam Garner. 1. Chaos sounds very unspecific here it makes the movie hard to visualise. So does the casual use of monotonous residents and the supernatural. Both don't make the concept clearer or more appealing, but only more vague. Try to focus in on where the major opposition/conflict will comeRead more
Hi Sam Garner.
1. Chaos sounds very unspecific here it makes the movie hard to visualise. So does the casual use of monotonous residents and the supernatural. Both don’t make the concept clearer or more appealing, but only more vague. Try to focus in on where the major opposition/conflict will come from in the script. Is there some monster they have to defeat to return alive from their school trip? Are the residents really the problem? What sort of chaos are we talking about exactly?
See less2. The prime goal of your heroes is missing entirely, which makes this concept unfocused and like it could go anywhere, but nowhere specific.
The worlds two worst explorers sign themselves up for a tour of the Pyramids of Giza, only to them be trapped inside with a carpet salesman, a dentist, a phone salesman and the Pharaoh.
Basically you have devoted the entire longline to two things: the main characters and the inciting incident. The most important point is their intention over the course of the script. I suppose it's getting out of there. What could help to make this longline more appealing is to add some stakes andRead more
Basically you have devoted the entire longline to two things: the main characters and the inciting incident. The most important point is their intention over the course of the script. I suppose it’s getting out of there. What could help to make this longline more appealing is to add some stakes and maybe a in impending clock that forces them to act fast. Also, are the people trapped inside maybe trying to stop them from getting out somehow, or are they all on their sides? Maybe one of these characters has reasons of their own not to let anybody get out of there?
See lessDuring the Holocaust, a 10 year old german girl must convince everyone she know's that the Romani gypsy girl she is hidding is just an imaginary friend.
I think this could be a great story. And your logline isn't bad either.Although the pros here could probably make it better. Best, Rutger
I think this could be a great story. And your logline isn’t bad either.Although the pros here could probably make it better. Best, Rutger
See less