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The worlds two worst explorers sign themselves up for a tour of the Pyramids of Giza, only to them be trapped inside with a carpet salesman, a dentist, a phone salesman and the Pharaoh.
Basically you have devoted the entire longline to two things: the main characters and the inciting incident. The most important point is their intention over the course of the script. I suppose it's getting out of there. What could help to make this longline more appealing is to add some stakes andRead more
Basically you have devoted the entire longline to two things: the main characters and the inciting incident. The most important point is their intention over the course of the script. I suppose it’s getting out of there. What could help to make this longline more appealing is to add some stakes and maybe a in impending clock that forces them to act fast. Also, are the people trapped inside maybe trying to stop them from getting out somehow, or are they all on their sides? Maybe one of these characters has reasons of their own not to let anybody get out of there?
See lessDuring the Holocaust, a 10 year old german girl must convince everyone she know's that the Romani gypsy girl she is hidding is just an imaginary friend.
I think this could be a great story. And your logline isn't bad either.Although the pros here could probably make it better. Best, Rutger
I think this could be a great story. And your logline isn’t bad either.Although the pros here could probably make it better. Best, Rutger
See lessBefore she dies, a terminally ill Irish banker, after keeping her 10-year-old daughter's birth a secret, must arrange for the young girl to meet her ex-baseball star/American father.
I like it. I have one question, when you say "meet with the father", are you implying the child lives in Ireland and will have to move to the US and live with the father?
I like it. I have one question, when you say “meet with the father”, are you implying the child lives in Ireland and will have to move to the US and live with the father?
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